#thailand

Friend celebrated her birthday today by falling off an elephant in Thailand, if you thought I'm the weird one in my circle.

I'd rather have a crying baby on my flight than a white dude who just did a trip to thailand and cant stop talking about it

My body is a temple, but it's one of those temples in Thailand where they let monkeys shit all over the place

Assuming makes an ass out of u and Ming, the thai food delivery boy who you assumed was from Thailand but is actually Chinese.

"IT'S A BOY" I shouted, tears rolling down my face "I DON'T BELIEVE IT. A BOY!" It was at that moment I chose never to visit Thailand again.

Picking a Xmas gift for your wife is hard, so I've decided to deplete our bank account, fake my own death & move to Thailand She'll love it

Bill O'Reilly was considering doing a few of his shows in a foreign country. And he was going through a list of possible countries to choose. He eventually settles on Thailand, now that's obviously not the end of the planning, he then had to decide which city he was going to have his show in and whether he should do prerecorded shows or if he'd host in a stadium in front of an audience. He spends a few minutes pondering these two important questions when he suddenly has a moment of clarity and e…

Now that it's 2017, to be accepting, I no longer see gender or age.... especially after my trip to Thailand

What do you call a people who serve in Thailand? Thai Fighters

What did the pissed off guy say when he landed in Thailand Phuk-et!

Always bring a rogue with you when you go to Thailand They're good at detecting traps

Nooo shit...me buying too much stuff?! My wife was complaining about the fact that I'm buying too much useless stuff on the internet..... So I sent her back to Thailand.

Brothels in Thailand have a red and white striped pole outside like a barbars shop! I didn't know! Imagine my shock when I went in and asked for a 'number 2 all over'

Three men were married to girls from different parts of the world. The first man married a girl from Sweden. He told her that she must do the housework. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see the house clean. The second man married a girl from Thailand. He told her that she must do the housework and have his dinner fixed promptly at 6pm every day. On the first and second days, he didn't see any results, but on the third day he came home and found his dinner on the ta…

I asked a Southeast-Asian-looking elderly gentleman if he was from Thailand. He said, ""Yeah, Siam.""

Online shopping. My wife was complaining that i shop too much online and that i had to send some shit back where it came from. So i have sent her back to Thailand.

Guy walks into a bar with 2 sheep, a pillow, and a stone letter 'N'. Bartender says, 'what's with all that?' Disgusted, the man explains, ""The pillow is down, the sheep are female and from Thailand, and this letter weighs 16oz and made from the stone of another planet."" Bartender: 'that doesn't really explain anything' guy: I met a beautiful, exotic woman and when she asked 'what is your wish my master?' I thought she was a submissive not a genie, but she gave me what she thought I wished for.…

Well, I'm moving to Thailand. There's a small village there named Phucket that really speaks to me on a spiritual level.

Despite all the wars Thailand has been in... They still have been doing a Bangkok job as a country.

I can't decide whether to go to Australia or Thailand this year for a holiday. So I decided to weigh up the pros and cons of both. Australia has a load of Cons, but Thailand has lots of Pros.

Haggling in Thailand So, I'm in Thailand right now and was out furniture shopping yesterday. I found the nicest table and wanted to buy it. So the guy gives me the white-person price and I offer him about 30% of what he said the price was. We haggled. He promised to give me ""special price."" It was frustrating. But what was infuriating was when some Brit came into the store with a Big Gulp - both he and the soda were super sweaty - and he put the damned thing on the table I was trying to buy. I…

A man comes back from vacationing in Thailand. About 10 days after getting back his junk swells up and turns green, purple, and red. He immediately goes to the ER. A doctor examines him and tells him he needs to amputate. He decided there's no way that's happening. He figured if he contacted this disease in Asia he'll go to an Asian doctor. ""Doc, the American doctor at the ER said I have to amputate."" Asian doctor looks at him and says ""You don't need to amputate. It fall off three days.""

Thailand women VS Germany women Ahead of this evening's scheduled game between Thailand and Germany in the women's world cup, it is reported that the Thailand team will be subjected to a surprise search of their shorts. Just to be on the safe side.

Planned to go to Thailand for my vaca this year but after hearing about the ladyboys I thought Phuket

Made in Thailand Have you heard of the mountain climber from Bangkok? He became famous as the Thai of the Eiger. ~ Who won the election for mayor of Bangkok? It was a Thai.