#bill-oreilly

Bill O'Reilly was considering doing a few of his shows in a foreign country. And he was going through a list of possible countries to choose. He eventually settles on Thailand, now that's obviously not the end of the planning, he then had to decide which city he was going to have his show in and whether he should do prerecorded shows or if he'd host in a stadium in front of an audience. He spends a few minutes pondering these two important questions when he suddenly has a moment of clarity and e…

Donald Trump was at a campaign rally when a little girl told him she had a riddle for him... Trump agreed to hear the riddle and the girl said, ""You are your mother's son who is not your brother, Who are you?"" Trump answered, ""I'll figure that out and tell you the next time we see you"" Later, Trump still couldn't figure it out, so he called Bill O'Reilly and asked, ""Bill, here is a riddle. You are your mother's son who is not your brother, who are you"" Bill replied, ""That's easy, it's me"…

Bill O'Reilly, Megyn Kelly, and myself were stranded on a desert island... I then proceeded to bash my own head in with a coconut

Bill O'Reilly calls President Obama and asks him what he'd like most for the holidays. ""I couldn't possibly accept gifts in my position,"" said Obama. The TV host insists and said he could ask for anything, no matter how big or small. ""Well,"" said Obama, ""If you insist I suppose I could accept a dozen Titleist Pro V1's (golf balls). My game is off and lately I seem to be loosing my balls."" A month later the President is watching TV when the O'Reilly says, ""A while back we asked a number of…

Why would Canadians make good American newscasters like Bill O'Reilly or Brian Williams? Because they're so freakin bored with Canada, they're always pretending to themselves they're somewhere they're not.

Hilary Clinton, Bill O'Reilly and Brian Williams walk into a bar Well not necessarily a bar per se and they didn't actually walk in and they weren't together...Ok I made it all up

Why don't tornadoes watch Bill O'Reilly on FOXNEWS? -It is a no spin zone

A guy arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter welcomes him and gives him a tour of the main building. One of the room is filled with clocks. St. Peter explains: "These clocks keep track of every lie someone deceased or still alive has ever made. For example, this is Mother Teresa's clock. The time is exactly midnight 0 minutes 3 seconds, which means she has lied three times in her life. Bill Cosby's clock just went forward a second, which means he just lied." After some looking around, the gu…

I was watching the news this morning when the presenter said.. ""A man has been arrested after half a million indecent images of children were found at his home in Bradford. Our reporter Bill O'Reilly has more."

Brian Williams and Bill O'Reilly walk into a bar Or do they?

If Bill O'Reilly and Barbara Walters got married what would they name the baby? Baba O'Reilly

What do you call Bill O'Reilly? Ass seen on TV.