#thailand

I was going to make a joke about thailand... But Phuket.

I couldn't decide where to retire... I couldn't decide whether to one day retire in Australia or Thailand so I decided to make a list of pros and cons. Turns out Australia has a lot of cons, and Thailand..

Mob bosses are donating a percentage of every gram of speed smuggled & sold to Thailand. They're calling it the ""Ice Phuket Challenge"".

I've started a charity for donating horchata-flavored espressos to deaf Americans in Thailand. It's called the ""ASL Rice Phuket Allonge""

A girl went to Thailand... And came back a changed man.

a man is sitting in a bar in a bar when another man comes up and kicks him in the head the attacker then says ""that was a round-house kick, from Thailand!"" and walks away. the next night the same man is sitting at the bar when the same attacker runs up to him and punches him in the jaw. ""That was an upper-cut, from Turkey!"" and then abruptly walks away again. on the third night, the man is sitting in the same bar when he is attacked, again, out of no where by the same guy, and again after ki…

When Bob Seger was an up-and-coming musician in Detroit... He used to celebrate a successful gig by going out to eat at this popular fusion restaurant in town that did a blend of Moroccan and Thai food. All the Detroit elites dined there, and their menu had all kinds of exotic dishes from Thailand and Morocco. But Seger, being a working-class guy, loved their free bread rolls more than anything else. After they closed, he was so distraught that he wrote a song about it, and started his path to s…

Map jokes How do you get around in Italy? You Rome. Why does everyone love Thailand? They Bangkok. I Congo to Africa, Kenya? Why do the French take there time? They hate to Russia What's the unhappiest state? Misery Who are the unhappiest Europeans? The Hungary ones. Why are the so many Subway's in India? Because it's the New Delhi capitol of the world. Why does Russia have so many Latino immigrants. Because they have Mas Cow. Where can you eat of the floor. Where they Florence. FEEL FREE TO ADD…

What's your favorite city in Thailand? Phuket, I don't know...

The President of the United States, the Prime Minister of England, and the King of Thailand walk into a bar in Bangkok and the bartender says ""May I get you and your guests drinks, Your Majesty?""

Just back from holiday in Thailand and l came so close to shagging a lady-boy. Looked like a lady, walked like a lady, talked like a lady! It was when she drove me to her place and reversed her car into a parking space first-short l thought..ok hang on!

I tried to propose to my girlfriend from Thailand today but it went wrong. As soon as i got down on one knee she started undoing her skirt

"Its a boy", he shouted. "It's a BOY! I still can't believe it! Tears rolling down his eyes, swearing never to come back to Thailand again.

A girl went to Thailand for a week... And came back a changed man.

Topical Jokes for 10/9 (for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host) In Indiana, a pizza delivery man received a $1,200 tip from college students. College officials applauded the act of charity, until they realized the “pizza” was just a box with $1,200 dollars worth of weed in it. To thwart corruption, traffic police in Thailand will now receive a bonus if they refuse bribes. The plan affects all levels of Thailand police, from the street-level Bribe Solicitor, to Di…

Just came back from holiday in Thailand... and I came so close to sleeping with a lady boy. Looked like a lady, walked like a lady, talked like a lady and even kissed like a lady. It was only when she drove me to her place and reversed parked the car in the garage first time that I thought, "hang on a damn minute."

"IT'S A BOY" I shouted... With tears rolling down my face, I shouted out loud. "I DON'T BELIEVE IT. A BOY!" It was at that moment I decided never to visit Thailand again.

"It's a boy!" ...he screamed, "it's a boy!". Tears rolling down his face, and he vowed to never go back to Thailand.

A man went on vacation to Thailand once... ...unfortunately something went wrong with the booking of the hotel. His room (and any room for that matter) wouldn't be available until tomorrow. The receptionist told the man that if he asked nicely he might be permitted to stay one night in the local temple along with the monks. So the man made his way to the temple. Once there he was greeted by an old monk. "Good evening.. ehm.. sir? Something went wrong when booking my hotel. Could I possibly st…

How is driving a Ford truck similar to visiting Thailand? Either way, you're likely to blow a tranny

Thailand was having difficulty trading with China because they refused to trade in Thai Bhat currency. Noticing that they had no problems dealing in Korean Won, the treasury of Thailand decided to purchase several trillion Won and sent communication to China to announce their new currency. China responded with a statement that the government does not recognize Thai Won.

It was 20 years ago, that my best friend, Jeff ran out of a room yelling "It's a boy!!! It's a boy!!!" with tears streaming down his face. We never went back to Thailand since.

The vacation in Thailand Two Priests decided to go to Thailand on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as Priests. For once, they’d enjoy a vacation as regular people. As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc. The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their 'tourist' garb. They were sitting on the beach chairs, enjoying a d…

In Thailand where on the woman's body is the clitoris?

I met a girl in Thailand and when we went back to her place I had an unpleasant surprise... She was a woman.