#stew

How do you know when you're eating rabbit stew? When it has hares in it.

A concerned husband went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor ""Doctor I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and always asks me to repeat things."" ""Well"" the doctor replied ""go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say something to her. If she doesn't reply move about 5 feet close and say it again. Keep doing this so that we'll get an idea about the severity of her deafness"". Sure enough the husband goes home and does exactly as …

Did you hear about the cannibal who commited suicide? He got himself into a real stew.

A long joke about a monastery and a strange noise. A travelling salesman is driving along a dusty backroad to his next sale, when his car starts belching smoke. He sees storm clouds coming his way and night is falling soon. Getting out of the car he looks around for shelter and sees an antiquated old monastery on a hill not 5 minutes walk away. He heads over and knocks on the door just as the rain starts falling and a kindly monk answers. "Hi, my car is broken down on the road" says the sales…

Are you gonna eat that? A hungry man with a hankerin' for chili sits down at a restaurant. The waitress approaches to take his order and, of course, he orders a bowl of chili. She replies, "Sorry sir. The gentleman seated at the table next to you got the last bowl." The hungry man looks over and sees that the his neighbor is almost finished his meal but the bowl of chili is still full. Feeling slightly embarrassed but still super in the mood of chili he asks the age old question, "Are y…

Cannibal Jokes... Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?" A cannibal invites a friend around for dinner. As they're tucking into the starter, the guest says "Wow. Your wife make a lovely stew." "I know." answers the host. "I sure will miss her." Two cannibals are sharing a lost tourist. "You start at the feet. I'll start at the head." says the first. After a little while he notices his friend hasn't said much. "You ok?" he ask…

So there’s a far-off place.... ...that consists of a triangular lake surrounded by land, with three kingdoms on the three sides of the lake. the first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people. the second kingdom is more humble, but has its fair share of wealth and power, too. the third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army. the kingdoms eventually go to war over control of the lake, as it’s a valuable resource to have. the first kingdom sends 100 of…

My dad CLAIMS to have invented this joke. I think it's too good and don't want to give him credit, but I can't find it online. This story takes place in 1860. Back 150+ years ago, presidental candidates didn't have nearly the luxuries current candidates do. The didn't stay in five star hotels or travel by private jet - they stayed with normal families on their campaigns and in exchange for a place to stay, would do chores around the property before they headed to a new city. In 1860 Abraham L…

My chemistry professor e-mailed this joke to me. ***A joke from my chemistry professor:*** There is a far-off place that consists of a triangular lake surrounded by land, with three kingdoms on the three sides of the lake. The first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people. The second kingdom is more humble, but has its fair share of wealth and power, too. The third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army. The kingdoms eventually go to war over cont…

The noise A travelling salesman is driving along a dusty backroad to his next sale, when his car starts belching smoke. He sees storm clouds coming his way and night is falling soon. Getting out of the car he looks around for shelter and sees an antiquated old monastery on a hill not 5 minutes walk away. He heads over and knocks on the door just as the rain starts falling and a kindly monk answers. "Hi, my car is broken down on the road" says the salesman, "and I see a storm coming in. Can I st…

So there’s a far-off place that consists of a perfectly triangular lake surrounded by land, with three kingdoms on the three sides... So there’s a far-off place that consists of a perfectly triangular lake surrounded by land, with three kingdoms on the three sides of the lake. The first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people. The second kingdom is more humble, but has its fair share of wealth and power, too. The third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has …

Cold stew A man walks into a diner, he see the special of the day, is cold stew and asks the waitress for a bowl of it. The waitress says "Sorry the guy at the next table just got the last bowl." "Thats fine" he replies "Ill just have a cup of coffee" as he sits drinking the coffee he notices the guy at the next table eating a sandwich drinking a coffee but not touching the stew. He leans in and asks "are you going to eat that?" "No, no, you can go ahead." the man says. He takes the stew and st…

Tried to sign up to a website the other day... I put my password as "beef stew" It said password not stroganoff.

A man wakes up in a dingy slum, with no memory of how he got there. He wanders around aimlessly before he finds even one person who will talk to him. Some ratty beggar on the street turns out to be nice enough to explain where he is. "You're in the afterlife!" he tells the man, "But you must have been a real shithead when you were alive, because this is the fourth ring, and only the worst people come here." All of a sudden, a siren goes off, one of those air-raid things. The man is terrified …

A man wakes up in a dingy slum with no memory of how he got there. He wanders around aimlessly before he finds even one person who will talk to him. Some ratty beggar on the street turns out to be nice enough to explain where he is. "You're in the afterlife!" he tells the man, "But you must have been a real shithead when you were alive, because this is the fourth ring, and only the worst people come here." All of a sudden, a siren goes off, one of those air-raid things. The man is terrified b…

Freddy the Flea Freddy The Flea Freddy the Flea is laying out in the sun in Miami Beach, putting suntan lotion on his little flea arms, and on his little flea legs, when he notices his buddy Oscar stumbling down the beach. Oscar is a mess, he’s shivering, disheveled, and looks like 9 miles of bad road. “Holy shit Oscar, what happened?” asks Freddy. Oscar says, “You won’t believe it Freddy, I just rode all the way down from New York on some biker’s mustache, and I damned near froze my ass o…

Why can't you use beef stew as a password on your computer? It's not stroganoff

An Australian Army Recruit sends home a letter... Dear Ma & Pa, I am well. Hope youse are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin’ on the farm - tell them to get in quick smart before the jobs are all gone! I wuz a bit slow in settling down at first, because ya don’t hafta get outta bed until 6 am. But I like sleeping in now, cuz all ya gotta do before brekky is make ya bed and shine ya boots and clean ya uniform. No cows to milk, no calves to feed, no feed …

A perfectly triangular lake has 3 kingdoms on its 3 sides The first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people, the second is humbler, but has its fair share of wealth and power. The third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army. The kingdoms eventually go to war over control of the lake, as it's a valuable resource to have. The first kingdom sends 100 of its finest knights, clad in the best armour and each with their own personal squire. The second kin…

Rosco sat down at the truck stop diner and called the waitress over. “I’d like the beef stew and a kind word,” he said to the waitress. After she dropped off the stew he said “What about the kind word?” The waitress smiled at him and whispered “Don’t eat the stew.”

I want my password to be beef stew but google says it’s not stroganoff.

I tried changing my password to beef stew. But it wasn't stroganoff.

Mrs Omalley needs vegetables Mrs. O'Malley woke up on a fine Monday and decided to make a delicious stew for her dear husband of 50 years.

Why can't you use ""beef stew"" as a password? Because it's not stroganoff.

Why you can't use 'Beef Stew' as a password.. Because is not stroganoff