#stew

Don't people who say "cray cray" realize how stew stew they sound?

tried to make a stew and accidentally summoned a demon again.

Doctor's advice. *I was reminded of this joke yesterday (don't ask why!). If this is a repost, then I suck at reddit search.* A man goes into a restaurant and orders soup. When the waiter brings out the bowl he has his thumb stuck in the soup, but the customer decides to let it go. ""Would you like anything else?"" the waiter inquires. ""We have some very good beef stew today."" ""Sounds good,"" says the customer. So the waiter goes off and comes back with a plate of stew, and his thumb is in th…

Two cannibals are lying around with swollen bellies surrounded by bones. ""Your wife sure makes a great stew,"" says the first cannibal. ""She sure does,"" replies the second, ""but I'm sure going to miss her.""

3 Squires Battle So there's a far-off place that consists of a perfectly triangular lake surrounded by land, with three kingdoms on the three sides of the lake. The first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people. The second kingdom is more humble, but has its fair share of wealth and power, too. The third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army. The kingdoms eventually go to war over control of the lake, as it's a valuable resource to have. The first ki…

alright you guys have posted some pretty bad jokes on here but not one comes close to this doozy brace yourselves so there's a far-off place that consists of a perfectly triangular lake surrounded by land, with three kingdoms on the three sides of the lake. the first kingdom is rich and powerful, filled with wealthy, prosperous people. the second kingdom is more humble, but has its fair share of wealth and power, too. the third kingdom is struggling and poor, and barely has an army. the kingdoms…

The Sides' Squires Not sure if this was posted before, but here goes... There's a beautiful country somewhere where the land is divided into three parts, and at the center is a lake. All 3 kingdoms want the lake and decide to fight for it. The first kingdom sends all 100 of its finest knights with all of their finest squires dressed in the best of armor and armed with the finest of weapons. The second kingdom sends all 50 of its knights with all of their 50 squires dressed in decent leather and …

Challenge Only a Genius can say these four words, Four times Really fast without getting Tongue twisted. Eye , Yum , Stew , Peed

I just told a cow that he's being watched. I always like to make beef stew.

A poor homeless man Walks in to a diner. He spots a man reading a large newspaper with a bowl of stew in front of him. The homeless man, being desperate and all, proceeds to sit down on the opposite side of the table and carefully starts eating. The man behind the newspaper does not seem to notice. So the hobo really starts digging in. Reaching the end of the meal, the hobo suddenly gets a strange taste in his mouth. He spits out what turns out to be a bloody tampon. Filled with disgust the hobo…

Brain Stew Once upon a time, a man goes to a restaurant to eat dinner. On the menu he sees various kinds of brain stew. The lamb brain stew is $20, the fish brain stew is $25, the chicken brain stew is $15, the cow brain stew is $30 and so on, at the bottom he sees blonde brain stew and that is $999. Curious, the man calls the waiter and asks him, ""I see the brain stew is reasonable for different animals, but why is the blonde brain stew so expensive?"" The waiter replies, ""Sir, we rarely find…

My house was burgled while I was out... My wife and I went out for the night to have a few drinks, she had put a stew in the slow cooker and we were going to have it when we got back but while we were out we were burgled, ransacked the place stole some money and my wife's jewellery. That wasn't even the worst part, before they left the swines took a shit in the slow cooker.... Who even does that?? Shitting in somones stew?? Utterly disgraceful.... Had to throw half of it out.

Who serves all you can eat rabbit stew? Warren Buffet!

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irish man are walking through the jungle... Where they are captured by a group of hungry cannibals. The cannibals set these men a task of shoving 10 whole pieces of fruit up their arse, and if they can achieve it, without making any noise they will be allowed on their way. The men run off into the jungle to collect their fruit. The Englishman returns first with 10 apples, and starts inserting apples into his anus, after 6 apples he cannot take it anymore and scre…

A family of cannibals are eating dinner... The mother looks over to her sullen son. ""What's wrong, dear?"" she asks, ""I don't like my sister!"" complains the boy, ""Well, just move her to the other side of the plate then. Finish your clown-loaf,"" The husband looks up from his meal and says, ""Honey, the clown tastes a little funny tonight. But this stew is fantastic!"" ""I'm so glad you like it!"" replies the wife, ""I made it with your mother,"" ""No *wonder* it tastes so good! I sure am gon…

A man goes into a restaurant and orders off the starter menu. The waitress brings him a bowl of soup but the man notices she has her thumb stuck in it. When the soup is finished the waitress suggests beef stew as a main course. The man agrees but when she brings the stew to the table he notices she has her thumb stuck it that too. Once the stew is finished the waitress suggests hot apple pie as a dessert. The man agrees, but again, the waitress brings him his plate with her thumb stuck in his fo…

Vietnam ""The year was 1968. We were on recon in a steaming Mekong delta. An overheated private removed his flack jacket, revealing a T-shirt with an ironed-on sporting the MAD slogan ""Up with Mini-skirts!"". Well, we all had a good laugh, even though I didn't quite understand it. But our momentary lapse of concentration allowed ""Charlie"" to get the drop on us. I spent the next three years in a POW camp, forced to subsist on a thin stew made of fish, vegetables, prawns, coconut milk, and four…

Popular joke in Ukraine ""Driver of a Russian humanitarian aid truck was beaten by Russian soldiers when tried to light a cigarette near cans with beef stew.""

What's the difference between stew haters and steers.

Cold Stew A Man walks into a diner, he sees they have a special ""today only"" on Cold Stew. He sits down at the diner table and asks the waitress to order a bowl. ""im sorry sir."" she replies ""The gentleman beside you just ordered the last bowl."" ""thats alright, ill just have a coffee."" sitting drinking his coffee he notices the guy next to him drinking a coffee eating a sandwich but not really touching the stew so he leans over ""Hey man, you gonna eat that?"" ""No, No, you go ahead"" the…

Show me a cannibal who gets sick on missionary stew... ...and I'll show you that you can't keep a good man down!

""That's as clean as cold water gets 'em!"" A young man is harassed by his parents on the topic of his grandfather, and how he never visits or speaks to him anymore. The man protests, sighing. ""He's such a weirdo. And he lives up there all alone in mountain country, I doubt he wants to see *anyone!*"" But his parents continue to insist and, finally, thinking it would be worthwhile just to get his mom and dad off his back about it, the man sets off to visit his grandpa's mountain shack. And, boy…

Need a little help with a joke I'm trying to come up with a lot of jokes about my friend Stew for a gift I'm making him and I need reddit's help. Most of them I've come up with just replace ""you"" with ""Stew"". I come up with one liners and jokes. Any help would be awesome. Some prime examples ""What can Stew do for you"" ""What do people at stew's baseball games?"" - ""Stew S A, Stew S A""

What did the host serve his guests for The Simpsons marathon night? Disco Stew!

How do you make a rabbit stew? Keep it waiting.