#north-carolina

Just got arrested in an airport in North Carolina for peeing sitting down in the men's room.

Dear North Carolina, if you let guys marry each other, you'll have more available women in your family to date!

850: Number of nukes Sarah Palin would have dropped on North Carolina in the last few hours if she were President. #korea

north carolina to sue over bathroom bill hillary: stop calling him that

Clem was small game hunting in the woods right around the border area of North Carolina, South Carolina and Georgia. He had just shot a possum and was putting it in his game bag when the game warden approached. The game warden says, ""Whatcha got there son?"" Clem says, ""Just doin' a little hunting. I got me a couple squirrels, a rabbit and this here possum."" The game warden grabs the possum, sticks his finger up it's ass, sniffs it the says, ""This here possum is from is from Georgia, you got…

Two Problems with North Carolina: Too many racists, and too many GODDAMN ASIANS.

How come north Carolina is the bluest state? Raleigh scattering

Hey North Carolina, watcha doin' this weekend? Nothing

A group of bikers see a girl about to jump off a bridge... Back on January 9th, a group of Wadesboro, North Carolina bikers were riding east on Hwy.74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped. George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, ""Hey Baby . . . whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"" She says tearfully, ""I'm …

Back on January 9th, a group of Wadesboro, North Carolina bikers.... ....were riding east on Hwy.74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped. George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, ""Hey Baby . . . whatcha doin' up there on that railin'?"" She says tearfully, ""I'm going to commit suicide!!"" While he didn't want to…

The Top Three things for Halloween you can do now in North Carolina: #3 Swim with the sharks, #2 Have an account on Ashley Madison, #1 riding a street car in Charlotte NC.

The Seahawks beat the Panthers up so bad that people in North Carolina are wearing JE SUIS CAM t-shirts.

Topical Jokes for 1/12 The White House said that not sending a senior official to the Paris liberty march was a mistake. Joe Biden was supposed to fly there, but he's not allowed on a plane unless he's accompanied by an adult. United Airlines is considering outsourcing jobs to cut costs. From now on, one lucky passenger will get to fly the plane, while being fed instructions from a customer-service rep in Mumbai. In North Carolina, a woman accidentally shot her husband when he surprised her with…

A man and his wife, moved back home to North Carolina, from Texas. The wife had a wooden leg and to insure it in Texas Was $2000.00 a year! When they arrived in North Carolina, they went to an insurance Agency, to see how much it would cost to insure the leg. The agent looked it up on the computer and said to the couple, '$39.00.' The husband was shocked and asked why it was so cheap here In North Carolina to insure, because it cost him $2000.00 in Texas! The agent turned his computer screen to …

The only cow in a small town in Arkansas stopped giving milk. The people did some research and found they could buy a cow in North Carolina, for $200.00. They bought the cow from N. C. and the cow was wonderful. It produced lots of milk all of the time, and the people were pleased and very happy. They decided to acquire a bull to mate with the cow and produce more cows like it. They would never have to worry about their milk supply again They bought a bull and put it in the pasture with their be…

I was scheduled to fly from North Carolina to Germany, where my husband was stationed in the military. As I checked in at the airport, the ticket agent asked me some standard security questions. ""Has anyone given you any packages that you didn't pack yourself?"" he asked. I told him that my mother-in-law had given me a parcel to take to her son. He looked at me very carefully and asked: ""Does she like you?""

Tipton and Baldwin shared a room on the North Carolina campus. One day Tipton came in and said to his roommate ""I hear there's a new case of herpes in the dorm."" ""Great!"" said Baldwin. ""I was getting tired of 7-Up!""

A black man in north carolina decides to stop by a chicken restaurant... To get something to eat. The restaurant is filled with white people, but the black man isn't too nervous. He goes to a waitress and asks for a seat, to which she replies, "Boy, we don't serve niggers here." He replies, "Well, that's great, because I don't eat niggers. I'll find my own seat." The man takes a seat in the middle of the restaurant and all of the white people are staring at him, all with degrees of unease a…

"No Jews Allowed" A US Navy cruiser anchored in Mississippi for a week's shore leave. The first evening, the ship's Captain received the following note from the wife of a very wealthy and influential plantation owner: 'Dear Captain, Thursday will be my daughter's Debutante Ball. I would like you to send three well-mannered, handsome, unmarried officers in their formal dress uniforms to attend the dance. They should arrive promptly at 8:00 PM prepared for an evening of polite Southern conversa…

Never mess with a redneck A filthy rich North Carolina man decided that he wanted to throw a party ... ... and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Leroy, the only redneck in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion. Leroy was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ and flirting with all the women. At the height of the party, the host said, "I have a 10ft man-eating gator in my pool and I'll give a mil…

Last kiss Back on January 9th, a group of Wadesboro, North Carolina bikers were riding east on Hwy.74 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So ...they stopped. George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Trooper who was trying to talk her down off the railing, and says, "Hey Baby . . . whatcha doin' up there on that railing'?" She says tearfully, "I'm going to commit suicide!!" While he didn'…

Clem was small game hunting in the woods right around the border area of North Carolina South Carolina and Georgia.

Never mess with a redneck A filthy rich North Carolina man decided that he wanted to throw a party ...

Do you know how NASCAR got its name?,"It's from North Carolina. There were a bunch of dudes standing around a car, and one of them said ""That's a nas' car.""

Why is it illegal for a man living in North Carolina to be buried in South Carolina? Because he's alive.