Joke that was totally told to me by a Navy SEAL and I am not lying or anything After numerous rounds of, ""We don't know if Osama is still alive,"" Osama himself decided to send George W. Bush a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still in the game. Bush opened the letter which appeared to contain a single line of coded message, 370HSSV-0773H. Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed it to John Kerry. Kerry and his aides had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI. Noone could solve

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A man and a woman are interviewing with the FBI After days of grueling physical and mental challenges, there remains just one more challenge. The interviewer hands the man a gun and tells him to go into a nearby room and kill the person in there. The man comes out a moment later, shaken. Out of earshot of the woman, he tells the instructor ""That was my wife in there! How could you ask me to shoot her? I could never do that!"" The instructor reaponds ""Don't worry, the gun wasn't loaded. We just

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FBI, CIA and NYPD Are all discussing which is the best organization at catching criminals. To settle the discussion they all agree to go into a near by Forrest to find a released rabbit. The FBI goes in first. After a couple of weeks they are unable to find the rabbit so they burn the forrest down, killing everyone inside. The CIA then goes in next. They question everyone as witnesses, stage a coup and still, after months of tracking are unable to apprehend the rabbit The NYPD goes in and a coup

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Arab and his son. An old Arab lived close to New York City for more than 40 years. He would have loved to plant potatoes in his garden, but he is alone, old and weak. His son is in college in Paris, so the old man sends him an e-mail. He explains the problem: ""Beloved son, I am very sad, because I can't plant potatoes in my garden. I am sure, if only you were here, you would help and dig up the garden for me. I love you, Your Father."" The following day, the old man receives a response e-mail f

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Mission Impossible United State Air Force has a high security, super secret base in Nevada, known simply as ""Area 51?"" One afternoon, a Cessna landed at this ""secret"" base. The aircraft was immediately impounded & the pilot was interrogated. The pilot's story was that - he took off from Vegas, got lost & spotted the Base just as he was about to run out of fuel. The Air Force started a full FBI background check on the pilot & held him overnight during the investigation. By the nex

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The FBI had an opening for an assassin... After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists: Two men and one woman... For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.. 'We must know that you will follow the Instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair .. . . Kill her!!' The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.' The agent s

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The ""war"" on drugs. The phone rings at FBI headquarters. ""Hello? I'm calling to report my neighbor, Clifford. He is hiding marijuana inside his firewood!"" ""Thank you very much for the call, sir."" The next day, FBI agents descend on the neighbor's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They swear at the neighbors and leave. The phone rings at the neighbors house. Hey, Clifford, did the FBI come?"" ""Yep.

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Pity the poor porpoises This guy had a few porpoises in his swimming pool even though he knew it was illegal to have them as pets... One day, he thought he would add a few sea gulls to have around his pool to add to the ambiance... So, he ran an ad to find some sea gulls - - someone with a few sea gulls answered that ad... The guy went to buy the sea gulls, but he was told the sea gulls were only a few days old and were still too young to move... the guy promised he would be very careful with th

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