#fbi

Have fun reading. This one's a long one. There's this guy in Florida, and he finds out that his uncle died. He inherits a zoo and he gets money to run it. So he goes to the zoo and it's so dilapidated. So he has a month to renovate, and he gets a big aviary, a big lion cage, and an aquarium. He uses all of his money on that stuff. It's a week before opening day. He realizes that he has no animals. So he goes on his laptop and finds out that the state of Florida has foster lions. He calls the sta…

For all the Latin students... I never understood the Ablative case since childhood. I guess when I was a kid, my mother never ACCOMPANIED me in the PLACE WHERE I was struggling. She never even taught me MANNERS. She was always SEPERATED from mr because she spent too much TIME as a CIA AGENT, which was SPECIFICally DIFFERENT in COMPARISON to the FBI. This is the CAUSE for me being an odd child

An FBI Interview The FBI is considering three men to be hired. They bring them in to speak with the interviewer separately. The first man comes in and sits down. The interviewer asks him ""Do you love your wife?"" so he replies ""Yes I do, sir."" ""Do you love your country?"" asks the interviewer. ""Yes I do, sir."", interviewer continues, ""What do you love more, your wife or your country?"" he replies ""My country, sir."" The interviewer looks at the man, ""Okay. We brought in your wife. Take …

The FBI and the Blonde The year is 2001, and it's post-9/11. The United States is devastated for the tragic event that happened in their country and wants to increase their security. In result, the FBI agrees with recruiting agents in the general public. A blonde hears about this and signs up for FBI. She enters the room and their is a man in a black suit sitting on one side of the table. The blonde sits down. The FBI agent says: ""In this test, you be given a picture of a man. I will show you t…

Teacher Arrested at JFK. A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport this morning as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a press conference just before noon today, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. Although he did not identify the man, he confirmed the man has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons…

Gods fury? New Zealand 6.5 quake vs. Kim Dotcom arrest NZ you shouldn't have sold your boy to FBI. Shire is still nice tho. [Big quake shakes central New Zealand] (http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/8945358/Big-quake-shakes-central-New-Zealand) [Kim Dotcom mansion raid CCTV released] (http://www.news.com.au/technology/kim-dotcom-mansion-raid-cctv-released/story-e6frfro0-1226663666541)

Abuse of the FBI (i forgot the original so i remade it and BSed through half of it) an old man living in a rural part of the US used to make a tomato garden with his son every year in his large yard. until eventually, he grew old and his son ended up in jail under false accusations. the man was too old dig up the yard, so he sent a letter to his son: ""son, i cant make the tomato garden this year, as i'm too old and you arent here to help me dig up the yard. -dad"" ""dear dad, dont dig up the ya…

Various law enforcement agencies have a fugitive tracking competition. A forest is divided by high fences into 100-acre sections, a squirrel is released into each one, and the game begins. The CIA fill their section with animal agents all wearing wires. After three months with no leads, they announce that the squirrel never really existed. The FBI works for a month and gets no leads. They burn down the forest, positively ID the squirrel remains, and announce at a press conference that the manhun…

Bubba applied to work for the FBI Bubba was not a smart man by any stretch of the imagination, but he very much wanted to work for the FBI. He took a trip up to Washington to take the admissions test, and after the test was scored, the agent in charge pulled Bubba aside. He said, ""Son, this may well be the worst I've ever seen anyone do on this test. I'm sorry, but it doesn't look to me like you know a thing about criminology or history, which are critical to this line of work. You didn't even …

(My favorite joke)Who is best at apprehending criminals? The CIA, the FBI, and the Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that rabbits do …

FBI Job Opening The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks,interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists; two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. 'We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair . . . Kill her!!' The man said, 'You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife.' The…

So there was a competition between polices... (...) and the three finalists on this efficiency competition were: Interpol, FBI and Rio de Janeiro's Elite Squad. The last assignment was really simple. They should retrieve a small rabbit after being released in a jungle. The group doing it in less time wins. First went Interpol, with a few agents, smart interrogation techniques, good wits and in 15 minutes they were back with the rabbit. Next the FBI invaded the jungle with helicopters, infra-red …

Welcome to the real Internet, where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are the FBI.

Can everyone come to my funeral in FBI outfits, stand at the back & not say a word to my parents so they think I lived a cool double life.

Your accountants letter of resignation is postmarked Zurich. You have to hitch hike to the bank to make your car payment. Your suggestion box starts ticking. Your secretary tells you the FBI is on line 1, the DA is on line 2, and CBS is on line 3. You see your stockbroker hitchhiking out of town. You see the captain running toward the railing wearing a life jacket. They pay your wages out of petty cash. You make more than you ever made, owe more than you ever owed, and have less than you've ever…

An elderly couple who were childhood sweethearts had married & settled down in their old neighborhood. To celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary they walk down to their old school. There, they hold hands as they find the desk they shared & where he had carved ""I love you, Sally"". On their way back home, a bag of money falls out of an armoured car practically at their feet. She quickly picks it up, & they don't know what to do with it so they take it home. There, she counts the money, & its f…

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-Gebra movement. He is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. Al-Gebra is a fearsome cult,"" Gonzalez said. ""They desire a…

The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD) The FBI and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads th…

What three letters in the alphabet frighten criminals? F.B.I.

The LAPD, The FBI and The CIA The LAPD, the FBI and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads …

The LAPD, the FBI, and the CIA . . . The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with n…

opening for an assassin The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews, and testing were done, there were three finalists, two men and a woman. For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances. Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill Her!” The man said, "You can't be serious, I could never shoot my…

Three men are being interviewed for a FBI position.... They complete the written exam and pass all the other tests with flying colors. They have 1 final test to pass. Each man stands in front of a door. The first guy is told that his wife is inside this room. In order to become a member of the FBI he needs to be able to take orders and do what is necessary. They then tell the first guy to enter the room and shoot his wife in the head. They hand him the gun and he immediately starts trembling. …

The KGB, the FBI and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at catching criminals The Secretary General of the UN decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the fore…

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing ev…