#alberta

So Nickelback is playing a flood relief concert for Alberta. Like those folks haven't suffered enough.

Justin Trudeau Visits church Last Saturday afternoon, in Edmonton an aide to PM Justin Trudeau visited the Cardinal of the Catholic cathedral in Edmonton. He told the Cardinal that PM Justin Trudeau would be attending the next mass, and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point out Trudeau to the congregation and say a few words that would include calling Trudeau a saint. The Cardinal replied, ""No. I don't really like the Man, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over cer…

The Rabbit Joke So on the island of Newfoundland there was once a tourist, who had come from the United States. He had come a very long way to see the beautiful views and wildlife of the island. He rented himself a car at the airport and set off to see the sights. But just as he started down the airport road, he heard a thump from under his rental cars tire. Thinking he may have rented a lemon, he pulled to the shoulder of the road an got out to check the car. With utter dismay he realized he ha…

A bank robbery . . . A hooded robber burst into a Vancouver bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash. On his way out the door, a brave Vancouver customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robbers face. The robber shot the customer without a moment's hesitation. He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also. Everyone in the bank, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silen…

Cowboys and Indians Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport passenger lounge in Calgary , Alberta, while awaiting their respective flights. One is a native Indian from the Sarcee Reservation. Another is a cowboy on his way to Vancouver for a livestock auction. The third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student newly arrived at the University of Calgary from the Middle East. Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon, the two Albertans learn that the Arab is a devou…

A man was traveling north to Alberta. He needed to use the bathroom and so at a rest stop he goes into a stall. He sits down and was surprised to hear someone in the next stall say, ""So how ya doing?"" The man gulps and thinks about what he should say and then decides to answer. So he clears his throat and says, ""uh....I'm fine."" Then the stranger in the next stall says, ""So where are you headed?"" Again the man, a little nervous answers, ""Uh...I'm headin north to Alberta."" Then the strang…

Knock Knock Who's there ! Alberta ! Alberta who ! Alberta'll be over in a minute !

3 nuns are at the pearly gates... St Peter greets them saying "Sisters of the faith! I have some bad news. Due to the current state of the world, there is a lineup to get into heaven. But since you devoted your lives to the Lord, I have a special surprise for you! You all get to go back to Earth until we can get you in past the gates! And the best part is, because you lived a life of sacrifice and poverty, we will let you return as any famous or rich person you want! Isn't that great?!" He loo…

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven... Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven, where they are met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. He says, "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you six months to go back to Earth and be anyone and do anything you want." The first nun says, "I want-a to be Taylor Swift" and *poof!* she's gone. The second says, "I want-a to be Madonna" and *poof!* she's gone. The third says, "I want-a to be Alberto Pipalini." St. Peter looks perpl…

Warning: Lawyer joke ahead A big-city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Alberta. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, \- "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer Peter replied, \- "This is my property, and you are not coming over here." The…

Want to know where to find the worst pun in Alberta? Call gary

Knock Knock Who's there? Adolf! Adolf who? Adolf ball hit me in the mouth! 1690. Knock Knock Who's there? Aesop! Aesop who? Aesop I saw a puddy cat! 1691. Knock Knock Who's there? Abe! Abe who? Abe C D E F G H...! 1692. Knock Knock Who's there? Abyssinia! Abyssinia who? Abyssinia behind bars one of these days! 1693. Knock Knock Who's there? Alberta! Alberta who! Alberta'll be over in a minute!