#wisconsin

Someone asked where I'm from and I said Wisconsin. She got excited, "Like That '70s Show!" and I clarified, "More like Making a Murderer."

It's so cold out today in Wisconsin I just saw a snowman kill another snowman and crawl inside his body cavity

If you swap the fried cheese for cheese, the beer for wine and the cheese art for actual art, Wisconsin is just like France.

I've been in Wisconsin for ten pounds. That means one week for those of you who have never visited Wisconsin.

Three women walk into a doctors office... (x-post from r/funny) ...So the doctor calls in the first one in for her exam. she takes off her shirt and has a big H tattooed on her chest. The doctor asks why there is an H on her chest to which she says: ""My husband went to Harvard and he likes to see the H when we do it."" The doctor finishes his exam and sends her on her way. The doctor calls the second one in. When she takes off her shirt, the doctor notices a big Y on her chest. When the doctor …

There's a guy out hunting and he shoots a duck. The DNR warden comes out of the woods and says, whachu got there? Got a duck, got a duck? He sticks his finger up the ducks butt, nods his head and says, thats a Wisconsin duck, you got a Wisconsin hunting license? The guy pulls out his wallet and shows him a Wisconsin hunting license. The next day, the same guy shoots another duck and the DNR warden comes out again. Says, Got a duck, got a duck? He sticks his finger up the ducks butt, nods his hea…

A woman in Wisconsin gets gypped by a dealer, so she calls the police saying that she was guaranteed only the ""highest quality shit."" The police offer pauses for just a moment and says, ""I am APPALLED that he would do such a thing! Take me to him right now!""

tell me your best "" i was gonna tell a joke about X but Y"" mine is i was going to tell a joke about Wisconsin but it was too cheesy. ninja edit: i love puns

rural upbringin' What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonald's on Friday night in Wisconsin? Prom night.

A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup, and as she takes off her blouse, he notices a red ""H"" on her chest. ""How did you get that mark on your chest?"" asks the doctor. ""Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love,"" she replies. A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue ""Y"" on her chest. ""How did you get that mark on your chest?…

So, I was a pallbearer at a funeral I was once a Pallbearer at a funeral in Wisconsin during the winter and it was cold as shit with alot of snow and ice on the ground. As we were carrying the coffin down the stairs, one of the pallbearers slipped and fell down which caused all of us to lose our grip and the coffin fell onto the icy sidewalk. The thing is, it didn't just sit there on the ground but it started sliding down the front walk (the church was on a hill, in the middle of the town) and i…

Steven Avery Did you see all the buzz on tv about the Wisconsin criminal that is working the system to manipulate the public for a second chance? Steven Avery no, Scott Walker!

Two Business Men Make a Pact Two Business Men make a pact, the first one who dies will come back and tell the other one what the afterlife is like. So Joe dies first. A year to the day, he calls out to his partner..Sam It's me Joe. Joe? So what is it like out there.?"" Joe..well first we have breakfast and then we screw. Then we have lunch and then we screw and then finally we have dinner and then we screw. Sam... That is Heaven? Joe...What Heaven? I'm in Wisconsin and I'm a bull!

Being football fans ... Why do all the trees in Wisconsin lean to the south ? Because Minnesota blows & Chicago sucks

Blondes Two Blondes were walking past a Wisconsin dairy farm, when they saw tracks. They started to argue whether they were made by a deer, a moose, or a loose cow. Then they lost it and were really yelling at each other. They were standing over the tracks, still yelling, when a train came along and killed them both.

Correct Grammar A girl from Oklahoma and a girl from Wisconsin were seated side by side on a plane.The girl from Oklahoma, being friendly and all said, ""So, where yall from?"" The Wisconsin girl said, ""From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence."" The girl from Oklahoma sat quietly for a few moments and then replied, ""So, where yall from, bitch?""

I just moved to Wisconsin, and my neighbour invited me over to meet his wife and his sister. When I got there... ...the three of us had dinner.

Answer: ""On Wisconsin"" Question: ""Where will Duke be spending much of tonight dunking?""

People from Wisconsin always make... Cheesy jokes.

Two college coeds from the Midwest ... ... are getting ready for classes Monday morning. The first strips to take a shower and the second notices what appears to be a big ""M"" just above the first girl's navel so she asks, ""What's that?"" ""Oh this?"" says the first, ""My boyfriend was here over the weekend and when we make love he likes to wear his college sweatshirt and it sometimes leaves a mark."" ""Oh. Where does he go, Michigan?"" ""No, Wisconsin.""

Dealing with Corporate Information Gathering The other day, I was purchasing a television antenna in a major electronics store and was asked by the cashier for my name. ""Why,"" I asked. I don't need a warranty."" ""I have to have it for our records,"" explained the cashier. Fed up with practice of companies gathering as much personal information as possible about their customers, I said, ""Maxine Meriwether Pasquadibisceglie-Jones."" She looked at me in utter confusion. ""Exucse me?"" ""Maxine …

A bagpiper As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeraldirector to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Wisconsin back country. As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and cre…

What do you call an old fruit-picker in Wisconsin? Cherry-atric

TWO DUCK HUNTERS FROM WISCONSIN: ABSOLUTELY A TRUE STORY HEARD ON A WISCONSIN RADIO STATION REPORTING ON THE INCIDENT. A guy buys a new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500.00 (with monthly payments of $560.00). He and a friend go duck hunting in upper Wisconsin It's mid-winter; and of course all of the lakes are frozen. These two guys go out on the ice with their GUNS, a DOG, and of course the new NAVIGATOR. They decide they want to make a natural-looking open water for the ducks to focus on, somethin…

A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red 'H' on her chest. ""How did you get that mark on your chest?"" asks the doctor. ""Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love,"" she replies. A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue 'Y' on her chest. ""How did you get that mark on your chest?"" asks the d…