#volkswagen

Volkswagen are a bunch of cheats... Audi you think they Passat their diesel tests for all these years? They would have never Beetle their CCompetition if they hadn't.

This joke is at least 10x dirtier than I thought. . . Volkswagen

Grandpa Beetle Joke My great grandfather worked at Volkswagen during the 1950s in Germany. As you may know by now, most cars are made on an assembly line and workers usually only see the one part of the car that they are responsible for assembling. He worked there until he earned enough money to buy his own Beetle. He then drove the Beetle back to our home country when the car had broken down. He opened the hood of the car to find that the engine was missing! At this moment, his friend from the …

How many jews can u fit in a Volkswagen? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and about 6 million in the ashtray. ..

Went to the dog car dealership. I could tell the salespeople were friendly, since I got all the Volkswagen at me!

Volkswagon How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen? 2 in the front, 3 in the back and 6 million in the ash tray

The Geordie Salesman A young Geordie lad moved to London and went to Harrods looking for a job. The manager asked him, ""Do you have any sales experience?"" ""Aye,"" he replied, ""I was a canny salesman back in Newcastle."" The manager liked him, so said he would give him a try. The first day was difficult, but the Geordie lad worked hard and, at the end of the day, the manager came to see him. ""So, did you make any sales?"" ""Just the one."" The manager groaned. ""Our salesmen make an average …

Ironic A Jewish family has a reunion to celebrate Hanukkah. During the reunion, a boy has a conversation with his grandfather, a Holocaust survivor. Boy:""Grandpa, isn't it ironic how Hitler used the swastika, a symbol of peace, as the symbol for the Nazi party? Grandfather: No, that's not ironic. Boy: Oh, yeah? Then what is? Grandfather: Your father's Volkswagen.

PJ time - Slogan behind an auto rickshaw I couldn't afford Volkswagen. Thus, Auto

Three pilots are bragging about the size of their planes... Three pilots are bragging about the size of their planes. The British pilot says: ""Well, our planes so huge that they carry 3 football teams and 3000 fans!"" The American pilot says: ""Pff, OUR planes are so huge they can carry 5 baseball teams and 5000 fans!"" They look at the German pilot. He smiles. ""Well, I don't know the exact numbers, so let me tell you about my latest flight. I was at cruising altitude and I heard a weird noise…

Volkswagen announces it will open a facility in Israel to make a new advanced vehicle... The new models are are so advanced not only will they stop on a dime, they'll actually pick it up.

11 REASONS WHY ALCOHOL IS BETTER THAN WATER 1. ALCOHOL IS MORE EXPENSIVE PER VOLUME THAN WATER 2. DRINKING ALCOHOL MAKES YOU HAPPY, STRESS FREE AND DO STRANGE THINGS. DRINKING WATER DOES NOT. 3. IF YOU JUMP IN A SWIMMING POOL FILLED WITH ALCOHOL IT WILL KILL YOU QUICKER THAN JUMPING IN A SWIMMING POOL FULL OF WATER (IF YOU'RE COMMITING SUICIDE). 4. ALCOHOL BURNS AND CAN CREATE A FIRE, WATER DOES NOT. 5. ALCOHOL CAN MAKE YOUR OLD VOLKSWAGEN WORK, WATER WILL NOT. 6. ALCOHOL WILL REMOVE STAINS THAT…

What's the leading cause of violence in America? Volkswagen Beetles.

She looked like such a sweet little old lady, driving the cute Volkswagen with a bumper sticker that said, ""Grow your own Dope."" How sweet, I thought, must be a medical marijuana patient. Then I noticed the rest of her message, ""Plant a man.""

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A. 2 Cor. 48 describes going out in service in a Volkswagen Beetle: ""We are pressed in every way but not cramped beyond movement.""

What car do insects drive? A Volkswagen automobile.

I just made one sale A keen indian state bank manager, left the job and applied for a sales man job at london's premier downtowrn department store. In fact which was the biggest store in the world - You could get anything there. The boss asked him "Have you ever been an salesman before? Yes Sir, I was a saleman in India replied the lad. The Boss liked the cut of him and said, you can start tomorrow and I'll come and see you. The day was long and arduous for the young man, but he got through i…

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. At the end of his first day on the job his boss walked up to him and asked, "How many sales did you make today?" "One," said the young salesman. "Only one," blurted the boss, "Most of my staff makes 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?" "$100,000," said the young man. "How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss. "W…

A guy suspects his wife is cheating on him so he comes home early from work one day. A guy suspects his wife is cheating on him so he comes home early from work one day. His wife meets him at the door in a bathrobe, her hair a mess. “Where is he?” he demands. “Where’s the guy who’s been sleeping with you?” “I don’t know what you’re talking about, dear,” she answers, so the guy tears the house apart looking for him. Finally he’s on the second floor in the kitchen, he looks out the window and see…

Pregnant elephants What is harder then getting a pregnant elephant into a Volkswagen?

Why can't Africa have Volkswagen beetles? Because an elephant will screw anything with a trunk in the front. Thanks to a random guy outside of a 7/11.

How do you get three popes into a Volkswagen? You take off their hats

How many jews can you fit in a Volkswagen beetle? 4 in the seats and 47 in the ashtray.

Remember when? Remember when the worst thing about Volkswagen was that they made cars for Hitler?

What do Volkswagen and a boy going through puberty have in common? They both lie about their emissions.