#audi

I drive an Audi to compensate for my innie.

No thanks Audi; I get all the uncompromised luxury I can handle by driving whatever car my wife thinks makes me look the most married.

I'm holding a latte and a scone while I break into this Audi so people think it's mine and I've locked my keys in it.

A cowboy walks into a German car dealership and says ""Audi, pardner.""

Merlot. Heard this one a while back, haven't seen it on Reddit yet so here it is. Long. A man asked a waiter to take a bottle of Merlot to an attractive woman sitting alone at a table in a cozy restaurant. So the waiter took the Merlot to the woman and said. ""The gentleman seated over there....and indicated the sender with a nod of his head wants you to have this wine. She stared at the wine cooly for a few seconds, not looking at the man, she decided to send a reply by note. The waiter who was…

What did the cowboy say upon entering the German dealership? ""Audi""

[Loong] Big red trike. A young boy named Jimmy, 5 years old, is looking through the Sears catalog. His birthday is coming up and he wants something great this year. Something *awesome*. So he's flipping through the catalog, going through all the Lego bricks, toy sets, whatever right? Well on the very last page of the section, Jimmy spots his heart's greatest desire. A big red metal trike. You know it. He just can't stop thinking about it. Day in day out, big red trike. Nap time? Big red trike. H…

there are 2 reasons why I dont take my GF on a long ride with Audi R8 Firstly, i have no GF and secondly I have no Audi R8.

Five blokes in an Audi Quattro arrived at the ferry checkpoint. Blonde Tracey, in her brand new uniform, stops them and tells them: ""I can't let you on the ferry. It is illegal to have 5 people in a Quattro. Quattro means four. One of you will have to get out and stay behind."" ""Quattro is just the name of the car,"" the driver replies in disbelieve. ""Look at the papers, this car is designed to carry five persons."" ""You cannot pull that one on me. This is Tracey you're talking to here,"" sh…

A cowboy walks into a German car convention... He sees a beautiful woman, walks up to her and says, ""Audi""

I got a new car that makes a lot of noise. It's the new audi-ble

What could you create with Starbucks caramel mocha chip frappuccino? The Audi logo and The Olympics logo.

Volkswagen are a bunch of cheats... Audi you think they Passat their diesel tests for all these years? They would have never Beetle their CCompetition if they hadn't.

Germans 5 Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian Border. The Italian Customs Officer stops them and tells them, ""It's a illegala to putta 5 People in a Quattro."" ""Vot do you mean it's illegal?"" Asks the German driver. ""Quattro meansa four"" replies the Italian Official. ""Quattro is just ze name of ze Automobile...."" The German says unbelievingly, ""Look at ze dam papers: ze car is designed to karry 5 Persons"". ""You canta pulla thata one on me!"" replies the Italian Customs Off…

Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border. The Italian Customs Officer stops them and tells them ""It'sa illegala to putta 5 people in a Quattro."" ""Vot do you mean it's illegal?"" asks the German driver. ""Quattro meansa four"" replies the Italian official. ""Quattro is just ze name of ze friken automobile"" the German says disbelievingly. ""Look at ze dam papers: ze car is designed to karry 5 persons"" ""You canta pulla thata one on me!"" replies the Italian customs officer…

Men will be men!! A husband went to police station for filing report for his missing wife. **Husb** : I lost my wife(mitsy), she went for shopping & still not reached home yet. **Inspector** : What is her height ? **Husb** : I never noticed. **Inspector** : Slim or healthy ? **Husb** : Not slim can be healthy. **Inspector** : Colour of eyes ? **Husb** : Never noticed. **Inspector** : Colour of hair ? **Husb** : Changes according to season. **Inspector** : What was she wearing? **Husb** : som…

Four passengers flying on a small plane audi, Chinese, Mexican and an American. While flying the plane began experiencing difficulties and the pilot determined the reason being a heavy load. So he suggested that every one gets rid of some unnecessary luggage by tossing it out the window, otherwise they will crash. The Saudi man had a barrel of oil, so he tossed it out telling the others that there are a lot of oil in his country so he didn't really need it and it could be replaced rather easily.…

Is it not funny Prize winning message of the year-. A husb went to police station for filing report For his missing wife: Husb : -I lost my wife (misty), she went for shopping & still not reached home yet. Inspector : -What is her height ? Husb: -I never noticed. Inspector : -Slim or healthy ?. Husb: -Not slim can be healthy. Inspector : -Colour of eyes ? Husb : -Never noticed. Inspector : -Colour of hair ? Husb : -Changes according to season. Inspector : -What was she wearing? Husb : -Saree…

What kind of bellybutton did Paul Walker have? An Audi. ^^^Im ^^^so ^^^sorry

What kind of car did the German cowboy purchase? Audi *tips hat*

Five Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border. The Italian Customs Officer stops them and tells them ""It'sa illegala to putta 5 people in a Quattro."" ""Vot do you mean it's illegal?"" asks the German driver. ""Quattro meansa four"" replies the Italian official. ""Quattro is just ze name of ze fokken automobile"" the Germans retort unbelievingly. ""Look at ze dam papers: ze car is designed to karry 5 persons."" ""You canta pulla thata one on me!"" replies the Italian customs offi…

Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border. The Italian customer agent stops them and tells them: ""Itsa illegal to putta fiva people ina Quattro."" ""What do you mean it's illegal?"" asked the Englishmen. ""Quattro means four"" replies the Italian official. ""Quattro is just the name of the automobile"" the Englishmen says disbelievingly. ""Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry 5 persons."" ""You can'ta pulla thata one ona me"" replies the Italian customs age…

Is it not funny Prize winning message of the year-. A husb went to police station for filing report For his missing wife: Husb : -I lost my wife (misty), she went for shopping & still not reached home yet. Inspector : -What is her height ? Husb: -I never noticed. Inspector : -Slim or healthy ?. Husb: -Not slim can be healthy. Inspector : -Colour of eyes ? Husb : -Never noticed. Inspector : -Colour of hair ? Husb : -Changes according to season. Inspector : -What was she wearing? Husb…

Five guys in an Audi Quattro... ...arrive at the Italian border. The Italian customs officer stops them and says, "It'sa illegal to puta five people in a Quattro." "What are you talking about?" the driver asked. "Quattro meansa four, and you are five-a people." "Quattro is just the name of the car." "Don'ta think you can fool me! Quattro meansa four and you are five-a people, you are breakinga the law." "You idiot! Call your supervisor, I need to speak with someone with more intelligence!…

[Long] 5 Germans in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian Border The Italian Customs Officer stops them and tells them, "It's a illegala to putta 5 People in a Quattro." "Vot do you mean it's illegal?" Asks the German driver. "Quattro meansa four" replies the Italian Official. "Quattro is just ze name of ze Automobile...." The German says unbelievingly, "Look at ze dam papers: ze car is designed to karry 5 Persons". "You canta pulla thata one on me!" replies the Italian Customs Officer, "Q…