#the-government

Is Miley Cyrus pregnant? Will The government stay shut down? Will the GTA online servers work? Find out on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z

"Heres your social security card, you need it forever! Its made of paper, don't laminate it. Good luck." -The Government

Workers and Cats Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an engineer, the second man was an accountant, the third man was a chemist and the fourth man was a government worker. To show off, the engineer called his cat, ""T-square, do your stuff."" T-square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.. But the accountant said his cat could do better. He called his …

[Politics] Illegal immigrants are lucky The government is helping them escape the US ...and into mexico, where a booming ladder industry is providing plenty of jobs

A hero without a villain becomes useless. A villain without a hero becomes.. The government.

Don't lie, steal, or cheat... The government hates competition.

A farmer buys some sheeps... A farmer buys some sheeps to keep in his farm. One day a government official comes around and looks at the sheeps. He asks the farmer ""What do you feed the sheeps?"" The farmer responds ""I let them go into the park and eat grass."" The government official gives him a fine. A week later, another government officials comes around and asks the same question. The farmer remembering the first fine says ""I give them some nuts I find in the backyard"" The second governme…

Some historic anti-Nazi jokes from Germany Hey there. I thought, I'll take the time and translate you some of the so-called ""Flusterwitze""(whisper jokes) from nazi Germany. * The old code of law seems to complicated, so it has to be changed. From now on, there are only three laws: 1. If you do something, or fail to do something, you are punished. 2. The penalty is determined by the peoples emotion*. 3.What the peoples emotions is dictated by the Gauleiter(governor). (1934/35) (original: ""gesu…

Government confiscated all the syrup from a syrup factory. Owner of the factory says, ""Why do you need all this syrup?"" The government worker says: ""That's mollasified.""

Two policemen are walking down the street in Soviet Russia... ...when they spot a guy standing next to the local Party Headquarters holding a paintbrush. On the wall, he's just written ""The government is run by idiots!"". The first policeman pulls out a pair of handcuffs and asks the second, ""Shall we arrest him for vandalizing public property, or for divulging state secrets?"".

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were. The first man was an Engineer, The second man was an Accountant, The third man was a Chemist, and The fourth man was a Government Employee. To show off, the Engineer called his cat, ""T-square, do your stuff."" T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, …

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats are. The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist, the fourth was a Government Employee. To show off, the Engineer called to his cat, ""Tsquare, do your stuff."" T-square pranced over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, Spreads…

Some Russian anti-war jokes 1. "Partial mobilization" is when you are drafted in whole, and returned back in parts. 2. "Dad, why are we hauled off to the trenches?" "I don't know, son, I'm not into politics." 3. For a long time, the government told us, "if you don't like Russia, go to another country." Now they tell us, "if you like Russia, go to the trenches." 4. We gave Putin our freedoms in exchange for prosperity and security. Now we have neither freedom, nor prosperity, nor security. …