#roman

A Roman walks in to a bar... He holds up two fingers and says "Five beers, please."

Jesus on the cross.. After a brutal and tough day carrying the cross up Golgatha, the Romans nailed Jesus with no remorse to the heavy wooden structure. Golgatha was a grand hill, and as the cross was raised Jesus looked down upon all those gathered before him. He saw his wonderful mother Mary. He saw gods children. He saw Jerusalem in all its glory. But his eyes finally fell on his good friend and disciple Peter. "Peteeer", he called through painful breaths, "Peeteerr". Peter, the must loy…

A Roman walks into a bar and holds up two fingers, and says "five beers, please" If you get it you get it

Have you heard about the Roman cannibalism trial? They asked the defendant if he was sorry for his crimes. He said no, he was gladiator.

When the Romans Conquered Britain In the mid 1st century CE one of the problems they did not anticipate was the rampant fraud being conducted in the bronze trade. Tradesmen who shaped the metal would buy it from merchants who bought it from the miners in the form of bars of bronze, already mixed from copper and tin. The issue was that many bars were of inferior quality possessing too much tin which resulted in brittle bronze. The merchants of course would say that they had been told it was goo…

TIL: There was an ancient Roman emperor who was blessed by Apollo that he will never cross the age of twenty. Emperor Constant Teen.

What do you call a smiling Roman with pubic hair caught in his teeth? A Gladiator!

A Roman wakes up in the hospital. A Roman wakes up in the hospital, he is drowsy and notices a needle in the back of his hand. A nurse comes in and he asks her, “Hey… what’s this… for?” The nurse says, “No sir, that’s your IV.”

Did you hear about the roman cannibal who hated his wife? He was gladiator 😁

(translated from a Chinese joke) Johnny was a dumb kid who was known for having trouble learning. He jumped to conclusions very often and he failed to understand very basic concepts. One time he was learning the Roman Numerals, one I for one, two I for two, three I for three. Johnny managed to grasp this idea and was very proud of himself. He wanted to deliver a letter to his Roman friend Million telling him of what he learned. Needless to say he spent all night and day filling up the paper bef…

A Roman walks into a bar. He holds two fingers up and says "Please, 5 beers!"

Is this a very old joke? A Greek lands on a beautiful uninhabited island and writes a poem about it. A Roman finds another beautiful island devoid of people and he builds a statue to himself there. A Celt finds yet a third island with no people and starts a fight. **I just thought of a variant:** Instead of building a statue the Roman conquers the uninhabited island. But perhaps the original joke implies that -- maybe when Rome conquered a place it erected statues to the general who did th…

Guy walks into a hotel A few years back, a feeder tournament for the World Series of Poker has attracted a lot of people to the town where it is being held, and every hotel in town is sold out. A guy without a reservation walks in and asks for a room. The desk clerk tells him “Sorry, but there are no rooms available. Due to an event in town, we have a full house”. Guy reaches into his pocket, pulls out a shiny metal object, and tosses it on the desk. Clerk looks at it, and it appears to be the…

Jesus is hanging on the cross. There’s a big loud crowd gathered when he’s heard weakly calling for Matthew. Matthew rushes toward the cross but is brutally beaten back by the Roman soldiers guarding it. He runs around to the far side and tries again. Again he’s beaten back. Finally after several more attempts a beaten and bloody Matthew makes it to the cross. “Yes lord what do you have to tell me” Jesus replies “I can see your house from up here”

A Roman walks into a bar.. ..and asks for a dry martinus. "Surely you mean a martini," asks the bartender. "If I want a double I'll ask for it, you plebeian scum," replies the roman.

Just woke up from a dream about Roman numerals 5, 4, 1, and 500. It was VIVID.

Who is in favour of bringing Roman numerals back into use? I for one.

What do you call a Roman who just went down on his girlfriend? Glad he ate her...

I forgot the Roman numerals for 51 6

A pirate captain asks his first mate ""Find out what be the Roman numeral for the two"" ""Aye aye! "" responds the first mate

A Roman walks into a bar and holds up two fingers And says ""I'll have five beers

""Great job!"" said one Roman soldier to the other. ""You really nailed that one!"" But Jesus was not impressed.

If you have epilepsy it's important to avoid reading Roman history books.

Why was the Italians cell phone bill so high? He was always Roman.

A Roman walks into a bar... He says to the bartender ""I'll have a martinus."