#roman

I only learned Roman numerals so I can be damn sure which Rocky I'm about to watch.

Her: I'm leaving you Me: Because of the ancient Roman literature puns? Her: Yah Me: But Aenid you

I've learnt a lot from the movies over the years, such as how to count using Roman numerals... I, II, III, IV, V, Balboa.

I just learned Avicii is a singer and not Roman numerals for 1952.

Things safer than flying Malaysia Airlines: -Badger juggling -Heroin enemas -Grenade soup -Live cobra condoms -Roman candle tampons -Ebola

*Sets fire to city* Pppffttt... More like the Roman em-pyre... -Attila the Pun

DOCTOR: I have some bad news. You have HIV ROMAN: What?! DOCTOR: Do you have any questions at this time? ROMAN: Yes, wtf is H4?

BRUTUS: hail Caesar *draws knife* CEASAR: not this time *hands Brutus an Uno "reverse" card* B: SHIT ROMAN SENATE:*stabs Brutus to death*

"Doctor: Put the IV in. Nurse: The 4 what?" - chronic problem in Roman emergency rooms

You hear about that roman ruler who found the fountain of youth? Emperor constant teen.

What do you call a Roman with pubic hairs stuck between his teeth? Glad-he-ate-her.

A Roman walks into a bar and holds up two fingers. He looks at the bar tender and says ""Five drinks please.""

Railroad tracks, a horses ass... and rockets! [Long] The US standard railroad gauge (the distance between two rails) is 4 feet 8.5 inches... an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used? Because a number of the early railroad lines in the US were built to fit standard-gauge locomotives manufactured by English railroad pioneer George Stephenson. The English expatriates who immigrated to America built them to the same dimension they had built them in England. Why did the English build them l…

Peter is staring up at Jesus on the cross. Suddenly their eyes meet and Jesus calls out, ""Peter! Peter!"" Peter runs to the foot of the cross but he is beaten and forced back by the Roman guards. Once again he looks up when he hears his savior cry, ""Peter. Peter."" Jesus's voice is much weaker now and that spurs Peter up the hill to the foot of the cross where he is again beaten and forced back down the hill. ""Peter... Peter."" The voice is very weak now and in desperation Peter fights his wa…

Did you hear about the Roman who got a C in Math? He got a perfect score!

Jesus on the cross Jesus Christ is nailed to the cross and the disciples are gathered around, crying. Jesus calls to Peter, ""Peter, come here!"" Peter goes over to the cross, only to be hit by the roman guards. He stands up and wants to return to the other disciples and Jesus calls to him again. ""Peter, come here!"" So, again Peter tries to climb the cross to get to his lord, when the roman soldier draws his sword and says if Peter comes back they will but his arms and legs off. Peter is getti…

A Roman walks into a bar He holds up two fingers and says to the bartender, ""Five beers, please.""

A Roman walks into a bar... (Latin joke) A Roman walks into a bar and says ""I'll have one martinus please."" The bartender a little puzzled replies, ""don't you mean one martini?"" The Roman scoffs and says ""oh please, if I wanted two I would have asked.""

Juno and Jupiter Sitting in Space Jupiter's moons were named after the Roman god's mistresses and this week NASA sent a spacecraft named after his wife, Juno, to observe the planet. If they find evidence that Jupiter has been unfaithful, the next thing NASA will be sending is a Death Star.

So a roman walks into a bar Lifts two fingers and say ""five beers, please""

What do you call a Roman with hair between his teeth? a GladHeAteHer

What do you call a smiling Roman with a hair in his teeth? Gladiator.

A Roman receives a text message.... A Roman receives a text message and looks at it confused. ""Why does it end with twenty?"" he thinks to himself.

Jesus called out to the apostle Paul...... Paul approached the cross ""My Lord, what can I do,"" The Roman guards shoved Paul back into the crowd, again Jesus called out to Paul and as he approached again the guards once again shoved him back this time warning, ""approach again and you will go up next to him."" Paul approached for the 3rd time as Jesus called for him and the guards were true to their words. After being nailed up next to Jesus, Paul again asked ""what can I do for you my Lord."" …

Jesus loves Peter After a brutal and tough day carrying the cross up Golgatha, the Romans nailed Jesus with no remorse to the heavy wooden structure. Golgatha was a grand hill, and as the cross was raised Jesus looked down upon all those gathered before him. He saw his wonderful mother Mary. He saw gods children. He saw Jerusalem in all its glory. But his eyes finally fell on his good friend and disciple Peter. ""Peteeer....,"" he called through painful breaths, ""Peeteerr...."" Peter, the must …