#mel-gibson

I believe in God and have a sense of humor about it. But when you insist that makes me an idiot, you sound as tolerant as Mel Gibson.

On a scale of 1 to Charlie Sheen, I'm at Mel Gibson drunk right now.

Mel Gibson, Randy Quaid and Charlie Sheen walk into a bar. I don't know what the punchline is, but I'm pretty sure the cops are showing up.

Just saw that I have one unheard message and I didn't even see my phone ring. I hope it's not: a) Work related b) Mel Gibson

In my opinion Scotland should be independent, otherwise Mel Gibson died for nothing

A quick Mel Gibson joke. If Mel Gibson directed a popular 90's show starring Paul Reiser and Helen Hunt: ""Mad about Jew""

I learnt that Mel Gibson was born in Australia Well I guess you could say he was from... -puts on glasses- MELBOURNE

Gibson Guitars does a pretty good job of letting you customize a Les Paul. But, after repeated inquiries, they still won't make me one that stops working whenever a Jew touches it, I call that one the ""Mel Gibson.""

Why does Mel Gibson never order a French Dip at a restaurant? Because it comes with Au Jus.

Topical Joes (5/13) Alright guys, here we are to recap the day's jokes. Let's get started. First off in the news, it looks like the TSA arrested a woman for singing Whitney Houston on an airplane - but you should've seen what the TSA did when they caught those ridiculous musical militants of the Elton Jihad. (Chuckle in back. Burp) As a refresher, Taco Bell did announce it yesterday was going to make a new waffle taco. However, the Taco Bell CEO advises you eat the waffle taco for breakfast so y…

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, ""My dear child, why are you crying?"" The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with pearls. ""Is this your thimble?"" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, ""No."" T…

The producer of a low budget film is trying to convince the newly hired director of the quality of the work by telling him the big names they've gotten for the cast. ""First of all"" he tells him ""We've got Gibson in the lead."" The director is surprised ""You got Mel Gibson?"" ""Well no"" the Producer responds ""we got Marvin Gibson he's a distant cousin who lives in Queens but he's very up and coming. And besides we've also got Redford."" ""You got Robert Redford?"" the director asks. "…

A movie producer is lying by the pool at the Beverly Hilton. His partner arrives in a great state of excitement. ""How'd the meeting go?"" asks the first guy. ""It went great"" says his buddy. ""Tarentino will write and direct for six million Mel Gibson will star for eight and we can bring in the whole picture for under fifty million."" ""Fabulous"" says the guy by the pool. ""There's just one catch"" his partner warns. ""What's the catch?"" ""We have to put up ten thousand in cash"".

What do Jesus, Gandhi and Mel Gibson all have in common? They all had a brave-heart.

Why was Mel Gibson in a bar at 9am? He overslept.

A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a heathery hill in the Scottish Highlands. They had been silent for a while, when the lass turned to him and said: "A penny for your thoughts." The lad was a bit embarrassed, but finally he said: "If you must know, I was thinking how nice it would be if you gave me a wee kiss." So she kissed him. Afterwards, he once again lapsed into a pensive mood, prompting her to ask him: "What are you thinking now?" To which the lad grumbled: "Well, I was hoping …