#long-island

Two guys are on their last tour of Iraq, and they get to talking and start divulging some personal information about each other. One guy is from Long Island, and his mate is from Sacramento. Spending as much time together as they did they started to become really close. One day the guy from Long Island was showing his mate some pictures of a boy that him and his wife adopted. ""We couldn't conceive because my wife had cervical cancer in her early twenties, and it took us four years but we finall…

A velociraptor on long island... I made this up the other day. I don't have high hopes but what the hell: One day a velociraptor moved to Long Island. He was sick of life in the jungle and decided to try new things. Walking down the street one day, the velociraptor noticed a 'Help Wanted' sign resting on a diner window. Thinking that he should try his hand at small talk with the locals, the velociraptor went in and inquired about the job. The old man that owned the diner immediately took a likin…

Geography Pickup Lines ""I'll show you Long Island if you show me those Grand Tetons."" ""I'm gonna make you wetter than the Florida everglades."" ""I wish your face was on Mount Rushmore, cause I wanna climb up on it."" ""How about you let me explore your Badlands tonight?"" ""How about I show you my pan-handle?"" ""I want you like Kansas, layed out flat."" ""Are you Niagara Falls, cause I want to go down you?"" All that I have so far, please suggest more!

I saw Bill Cosby at the bar last night... He asked me if I needed any sugar for my Long Island iced tea.

In a first grade class in an elementary school on Long Island The teacher asked everyone to raise their hand if they are a Mets fan. Everyone raised their hand except for Kathy. The teacher asked Kathy “why didn’t you raise your hand?” Kathy responded “because I’m a Yankees fan.” Pressing further, the teacher asked Kathy why she was a Yankees fan. Kathy says “well my mom is a Yankees fan, and my dad is a Yankees fan, so I’m a Yankees fan.” The teacher then asks Kathy “well what if your mo…

Joe walks into a bar ... One afternoon Joe walked into a bar he had never been in before. The bartender asked him ""What will it be?"". Joe said ""Long Island

Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had told their new wives what their household duties were to be. The first man had married a woman from Tennessee. He bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning. He said it took a couple days, but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were done. The second man had married a woman from Florida. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning…