#hillary-clinton

Why doesn't Hillary Clinton work out? She doesn't want to Feel the Bern.

Who will win this Super Bowl's coin toss? Hillary Clinton

Why does Hillary Clinton secretly want to lose the election? Because if she wins, she'll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood.

How can you tell if Hillary Clinton is lying? She's moving her lips.

Could someone help me decide what's more two faced... Hillary Clinton or the coin

What drinking game is Hillary Clinton best at? Flip Cup (coin)

The US can't rely on Hillary Clinton to create jobs The last meaningful job Hillary had was outsourced to Monica Lewinsky... ...and Monica blew it!

Hillary Clinton walks into a bar. Bartender: What'll it be, Secretary Clinton? Hillary: Let me see what polls best among my focus groups.

What's the difference between 1998 and 2016? Hillary Clinton is the punch line this time

Somebody asked Hillary Clinton if she would be going to see 13 hours... She said no, she had already slept through that one.

I was asked by my doctor if mental illness ran in the family... I told him ""I have an aunt who wants to vote for Hillary Clinton""

To coincide with the Democratic debate tonight that nobody will watch the DNC is releasing its new fundraising product - Hillary Clinton butt plugs... The DNC recommends not using any lube with the product because Hillary is naturally the best fit for the job!

I wonder what Hillary Clinton will do after she dies.... Most likely she'll lie still

Since this is Obama's last year... He decides to throw a small private party and invites the candidates running for president this year. He invites Hillary Clinton, Jeff Bush and of course the smart and talented Donald Trump on his private jet party. They are the only people on the jet plane and are flying over the tropical islands. After about couple of hours of cruising, the pilot cries frantically, ""We seem to have a problem, the plane is going to crash due to some malfunction. We have only …

I was told a good joke at a New Year party... Hillary Clinton

Donald Trump has labelled Hillary Clinton ""disgusting"" for taking a bathroom break during the debate. Trump himself never has to go to the bathroom, as the shit just comes straight out of his mouth.   Edit: Thanks to everyone that found this joke funny. To all those I offended: Stop being offended by jokes on the internet ;) MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!   Edit: Spelling

Want to hear a dumb, old joke? Hillary Clinton. Want to hear a dumber, older joke? Wherefore doth the chicken cross the road? Want to hear the oldest, dumbest joke I've heard? Donald Trump.

Some people were offended by Trump's remark that Hillary Clinton was ""schlonged"" by Obama during the 2008 Democratic primary! No this is the Donald's normal everyday shtump speech!

Maybe the back door is the wrong door. -Hillary Clinton

Monica Lewinsky's statement on Hillary's run for President Monica Lewinsky released the following statment on Hillary Clinton's run for President.. ""I will not vote for Hillary Clinton . The last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in my mouth. As we get closer to the 2016 election year, citizens must remember that they cannot even trust Hillary Clinton to create American jobs. The last time she had a meaning full job , she outsourced it to me and I simply blew it"".

Why did Hillary Clinton cross the road? (probably offensive) 9/11

Hillary Clinton goes jogging [long] Hillary Clinton was out jogging one morning along the parkway when she tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the river below. Before anyone else could get to her, 3 kids who were fishing pulled her out of the water. She was so grateful she offered the kids whatever they wanted. The first kid says, ""I want to go to Disneyland."" Hilary says, ""No problem, I'll take you there on my campaign airplane"". The second kid says, ""I want a new pair of N…

Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton were playing chess... The comedy practically writes itself.

Bush, Trump, Sanders, and Clinton are all on a plane about to crash. A plane with Jeb Bush, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton & Bernie Sanders is about to crash, but has only 3 parachutes. The first passenger yells, ""I'm Jeb Bush, let the big dog eat! I can't afford to die."" he took the first parachute and jumped. The 2nd passenger, Donald Trump runs screaming, ""I'm the smartest man in the world & the next President of America. He grabbed the second parachute and jumped. The 3rd passenger…

Hillary Clinton made a joke about her own hair Clinton jokes: The hair is real, the color isn't - CNN