#dorothy

*Dorothy pummells Glenda with a ruby slipper DAFUQ YOU MEAN I HAD THE POWER TO GO HOME ALL ALONG?!! YOU SENT A MINOR TO MURDER A WITCH!!??

That really wasn't nice of Dorothy to say "I'll miss you most of all" to Scarecrow with Lion & Tin Man standing right there.

Dorothy: We have to see the wonderful Wizard of Oz Toto: OK but I wouldn't make a song and dance about it Dorothy: [inhaling] Toto: FFS

The Scarecrow didn't have the brains, Tin Man didn't have the heart, and the Lion didn't have the courage. So Dorothy remained a virgin.

[sees woman reading] "Gone With The Wind? Great book! I love how the *clenches fist* tornado takes Dorothy & Toto to the Land Of Oz."

"The house always wins," muttered Dorothy as she stared at the witch's crushed body.

Adulthood is like the part in The Wizard of Oz where Dorothy tries to runaway from her problems, but then SURPRISE, there is also a tornado.

Old dress Dorothy and Edna two ""senior"" widows, are talking at the local coffee shop. Dorothy: ""That nice Joe asked me out for a date . . . I know that you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer."" Edna: ""Well . . . I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 P.M., dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there but a luxury car . . A l…

Dorothy is stuck in Oz Apparently magical footwear can't solve all of your problems. So she stays put. Decades go by, and technology advances. Dorothy, realizing that things get boring without witches trying to murder you, gets a laptop. She installs Internet Explorer, and the connection is terrible. Dorothy uninstalls it. She gives Firefox a try. Better, but still pretty awful. Finally she tries Google's internet browser. The connection is STILL not good. She sighs, realizing that Oz just has t…

Mike Pence, Rudy Giuliani, and Donald Trump landed in the Land of Oz... Mike Pence: I'm going to ask the Wizard for a heart! Rudy Giuliani: I'm going to ask the Wizard for a brain! Donald Trump: (looking around the area) Where's Dorothy?

Why wasn't toto as excited as dorothy when they traveled the yellow brick road? he missed the rains down in africa

I was texting an orphan Her: Hey you are nice Me: No I'm not Her: Yes you are Tin man, you do have a heart Me: I'm rusting Her: ok I'm sorry Me: You're like Dorothy Her: Not Rusty How so Me: can't find home

What would Dorothy have said if she practiced Yoga instead of new age magical thinking? There's no place like OM.

Dan Quayle, Newt Gingrich and President Clinton all get caught up in a tornado and finally land in the Emerald City of Oz. They are finally allowed to visit the great and powerful wizard and Dan Quayle says ""I've had a tough time getting by in Washington and I think I'd like to have a brain"". Newt Gingrich speaks next and says ""I've heard all they say about me and my conservative politics and I'd like to have a heart."" President Clinton speaks last and says ""I'll just take Dorothy.""

Former Vice President Quayle Speaker of the House Gingrich and President Clinton are traveling in a car together in Kansas. A tornado comes along and whirls them up into the air and tosses them thousands of yards away. They all fall into a daze. When they come to and extract themselves from the vehicle they realize they're in the fabled Land of Oz. They decide to go see the famous Wizard of Oz. The Wizard is known for granting people their wishes. Quayle says ""I'm going to ask the Wizard fo…

Four U.S. presidents are caught in a horrible tornado... Four U.S. presidents are caught in a horrible tornado, that hits a state funeral they’re all attending in Kansas. Suddenly, all of them are blown off to Oz. They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great and Powerful Oz. “What brings you before the great Wizard of Oz?” Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: “I've come for some courage.” ”No problem!” says the Wizard. “Who is next?” Ronald Reagan steps forward, “W…

Two old ladies are in a car... They're driving down the street when suddenly they pass a red light. Dorothy, who's sitting in the passenger's seat thinks to herself, 'oh well, Matilda is getting pretty old and her vision isn't what it used to be. She probably didn't see that red light, happens to everyone." They drive a little bit more and pass another red light. Dorothy is thinking to herself, "alright two red lights is no coincidence.. maybe I should say something.. well better not, Matild…

Four former U.S. presidents... Four former U.S. presidents are caught in a horrible tornado that hits a state funeral they’re all attending in Kansas. Suddenly, all of them are blown off to Oz. They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great and Powerful Oz. “What brings you before the great Wizard of Oz?” Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: “I've come for some courage.” ”No problem!” says the Wizard. “Who is next?” Ronald Reagan steps forward, “Well…I…I think I need a …

How the Internet Started, According to the Bible In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy. And Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com. And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?" And Abraham did…

A guy was sitting in his favorite chair watching TV His wife came up behind him and hit him over the head with a frying pan.. He screams hey, what’s that for? His wife said I was doing the washing and I found a piece of paper with the name Dorothy on it … He says I was at the race track yesterday and that’s the horse I was betting on .. A week later, he was sitting in the same favorite chair, and his wife came up behind him and hit on the head again with the frying pan… He said what was …

An old lady named Dorothy called her neighbor Fred and said, “Please come help me, I have a killer jigsaw puzzle and I can’t figure out how to get started.” Fred asked, “What’s it supposed to be when it’s finished?" “According to the picture on the box, it’s supposed to be a rooster,” replied Dorothy. “Okay,“ Fred replied. “I’ll come over and help with the puzzle. ”He rang the doorbell, she let him in, and showed him the pieces spread out all over the kitchen table. He studied the pieces f…

How long did Dorothy, the Scarecrow, and the Cowardly Lion have to wait for the Tin Man? Ten minutes.

What did Dorothy do to the mean Asian Munchkin? She swallowed the yellow prick's load.