#googles

I'm surprised Microsoft didn't resurrect Bing Crosby to counter Google's ad.

We could hit every terrorist on the Most Wanted List tomorrow, if we turned it over to Google's ad department.

Dorothy is stuck in Oz Apparently magical footwear can't solve all of your problems. So she stays put. Decades go by, and technology advances. Dorothy, realizing that things get boring without witches trying to murder you, gets a laptop. She installs Internet Explorer, and the connection is terrible. Dorothy uninstalls it. She gives Firefox a try. Better, but still pretty awful. Finally she tries Google's internet browser. The connection is STILL not good. She sighs, realizing that Oz just has t…

[Request] Two penguins walk into a bar... Probably doing this wrong, but I'd like some great jokes for this line. I don't want Google's results; I want the words of my brilliantly witty fellow Redditors.

If Google was a religion and could save your soul... - Confessional would be both mandatory, assuming you wish to continue believing in this religion. You'll get prompted about it every time you visited a Google House of Worship, or any house using Google services. - Don't worry about what to confess though, Google's so integrated in your life, they already know. It appears from your frequent search history for upscale restaurants you may want to confess gluttony, and from the amount of time you…

If your legs open up faster than Google's homepage. You are not girlfriend material.

WebMD has integrated Google's Deepmind. On startup it performed a self diagnostic test. Turns out, it's cancer.

A smart scientist amd a blonde girl sit down on a plane. A very smart man boards a plane and sits down. A blond girl sits next to him. He is bored so he says to her "Let's play a game, I give you a riddle if you cannot find the answer you pay me 5 dollars. If you answer it though you give me a riddle and I don't answer it I'll give you 300$" She says "OK, I'll go first." "What goes up a hill on 1 leg and goes down on 2?" He thinks about it for a while but after about 10 minutes can't find …

Google's app management app is called "Google Play" and their payment app is called "Google pay" Their navigation app should be called "Google Way"

I think Google's a woman... Because it won't let you finish a sentence without coming up with other suggestions.

WebMD has integrated Google's Deepmind. On startup it performed a self diagnostic test.

A black guy and a Puerto Rican are in a car. So who's driving? Neither! They're both research scientists gathering data on Google's driverless car. You racist