#dad-joke

A proud new dad sits down to have a drink with his father "Well son, now that you have a kid of your own, I think it's time I give you this" "Dad you don't mean..." "Yes son, I do" as he pulls out his copy of 1001 Dad Jokes, 5th Edition "Dad... I'm honored..." He says, tears sparkling in his eyes. "Hi honored," his father replies, "I'm dad"

Dad Joke Dad: (Grabs his chest) Call me an ambulance Son: You are........ an ambulance Dad: Proud of you son.

I have finally punched my membership card into Dad jokes! So last night my 12 year old son and I are watching the Little League World Series. The pitcher for the Nevada team has a last name of "Kryszczuk". My son looks to me and asks "Do you think he's Russian?" My response: Nope, it looks like he's taking his time. It took him a couple of seconds to realize and then he gave me that wonderful "Really, Dad?" look. I'm so proud.

I happily dad joked my fiancé While on her way to work, she texted me saying she only put deodorant on one side. To which I replied, "At least you won't smell half bad!"

The new father A proud new father sits down with his dad to have a drink. "Well son, now that you have a son of your own its time I gave you something." "Dad you dont mea-" "Yes I do. You've earned it." Says the father as he passes a copy of '1001 Dad Jokes 5th Edition' to the son. "Dad I dont know what to say...I'm honored." "Hi honored," Replies the father. "I'm dad."

Having gay parents must be horrible You either get twice the usual amount of dad jokes or get stuck in an infinite loop of "go ask your mom"

I don't always tell dad jokes But when I do, he laughs

When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent.

What kind of medicine do Ants use when they have eye problems?,"Ant-Eye Biotics (Dad joke I know)

Aren't dad jokes great?,"I got a bad sunburn a week ago and my skin is staring to peel of.I guess you could say that it's.....appealing

Dad Joke - Did the melon get married without permission?,"No it Cantelope.

Son, do we have any dop Ted?","son: what's a ""dop Ted""? dad: you are, you are adopted!! son: ... Nice one dad. dad: I'm not your dad. (Dad joke at its finest credit: Kris Wilson)

What's the best thing about being black? Not having to listen to awful dad jokes.

What is the motto of the French navy?,"To the water, it is time! Or in french... ... BWA HA HA HA. OK... I know this is kind a dad joke but.... yeah (for those don't speak French and thus don't get this click the link and click the speaker to have it read to you ;) )

what does my dad and christmas crackers have in common?,"they show up once a year to make me cringe with their dad jokes and then give me a shitty gift.

What's the best part of growing up in Compton? No bad dad jokes.

Know what the opposite of a dad joke is?,"A son burn! Son: I'm thirsty Dad: hi thirsty, I'm friday Son: ugh, at least I have mom's genes. Dad: She was looking for jeans earlier today Son: you're wearing mom jeans right now, which gives you two reasons to feel embarrassed Mr. Unemployed Dad:

Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because his neck is way up here! (Dad Joke)

Is milk the best workout supplement?,"No, whey man! (My first dad joke im so proud!)

[warning: Dad joke] What country has the most internet crimes? E-gypt

Whats an African dad joke? Hi starving! I'm dad!

[Warning: Dad joke] What is a dog's favorite Christmas song? Fleas Navidad

Dad joke gold? My 10yo is doing a project on Mississippi and one of it's famous residents was Elvis. She was doing some research on him and started asking me questions: 10: Dad was Elvis on drugs? M: Yep....I think he even died on the toilet 10: Whhaaattt? Was he going to the bathroom when he died? M: Not sure, but I do know....it was a pretty shitty way to go Cue: Laughter explosion, I don't curse around them so the impact was bigger

Do you know why they are called dad jokes? Because of the people that fathered them.

What kind of medicine do Ants use when they have eye problems? Ant-Eye Biotics (Dad joke, I know)