#first-dad

It's Career Day at the Elementary School... ...and everyone's dad comes in to give a presentation about their job. The first dad up is a firefighter. Next is a policeman. Then a banker, and so on, until everyone's dad has gone up to talk about their job, except one. ""Where's your father, Bobby?"" the teacher asks. ""He died 2 years ago"" Bobby replies. ""Well, why don't you tell us what he did before he died?"" says the teacher, to which Bobby responds, ""AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGG…

New dad as of today, so here is my first dad joke. What do you call it when you accidentally butcher your heifer instead of your steer? A Ms. Steak.

Having a Daughter Daughter: ""Dad, when will I be old enough to go to the movies with a boy?"" Dad: ""When you're a year older than your brother."" The daughter thought for a moment and replied: ""But I'll never be older than my brother, he was born first."" Dad: ""I guess there's your answer. But don't blame me, go talk to your brother.""

Origin of Dad Jokes What and when was the very first dad joke?

Dad jokes - My time has come. Whelp my son is 7 months old and I made my first dad joke to my wife the other day... How long did it take you other guys out there to hit the dad joke stage in your life?

My first dad joke So, early this morning my wife got up and questioned me after I got up early with our son and fed him. Her: Did you get our son sick? Me: Nope, I got him cereal.

Two hunters are talking about their kids... And one dad says to the other how his little boy's got a crush on his little girl. So the other dad replies, ""well let him know to stay 651 yards away from her. "" the first dad asks ""why 651?"" The other dad says ""cause I can still hit him at 650"". This was a conversation I just hear two guys have at the campground I was at.

The first dad joke you'll make A guy calls the hospital. He says, ""You gotta send help! My wife's going into labor!"" The nurse says, ""Calm down. Is this her first child?"" He says, ""No! This is her husband!""

Golf Outing Four fathers are on a golf outing. One of the fathers has to take a leak, so he wanders into the woods. The other three start talking about how their sons have been. The first dad says ""Well, i'm really proud of my son, he's become a major success in the real estate business and just got a free house!"" The second father chirps in, ""Well my son is doing better than I could have imagined! He's gotten major promotions at his car dealership and got himself a free car!"" The last fathe…

My un-dadly dad just made his first dad joke While we are playing cards and I'm getting my ass kicked: Me: This is the face of defeat. Dad: Want to draw a face on my foot? Me: Why? Dad: It's the face of defeat... edits: formatting from mobile

(My first dad joke) Pregnant lady's food stuck in vending machine Her (to staff): My food is stuck in the vending machine

(My first dad joke) Wife was breastfeeding Her: the baby sure is taking his time getting his meal in

New dad as of today so here is my first dad joke.

My un-dadly dad just made his first dad joke While we are playing cards and I'm getting my ass kicked:

Is milk the best workout supplement?,"No, whey man! (My first dad joke im so proud!)

What do you get a first dad for father's day? Condoms. Courtesy of my witty ole' uncle mike

Is milk the best workout supplement? No, whey man! (My first dad joke, im so proud!)