#tom-cruise

What does Amtrak have in common with Tom Cruise? They both like to go off the rails Edit: On a side note, I hope all of the passengers, and crew are ok, and recover quickly

They should roast Tom Cruise sometime... Call it the Cruise-ifixion

""Talk to me, Goose,"" Tom Cruise crackled over the radio. ""Squawk."" Goose replied before nose diving into the ground causing untold amounts of destruction, because geese can not operate aircraft.

I'm going to the new Tom Cruise movie at midnight. Seeing it on the Edge of Tomorrow.

If Tom Cruise had an intervention to an addiction... They should call it ""Cruise Control.""

Why I am not a Scientologist Scientology, in a nutshell, says you are infested with tiny alien souls that need to be plucked out one by one through meditation and giving Tom Cruise hundreds of thousands of dollars. I don't think I could ever be a Scientologist because if I really wanted to help people get little souls out of their bodies, I would just open up an abortion clinic.

I stole a Tom Cruise movie from the store the other day... It was Risky Business.

Dave knows everyone there is to know.... Dave was bragging to his boss one day, ""You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I'll know them."" Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, ""OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?"" ""No drama's boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."" So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and Tom Cruise shouts, ""Dave! What's happening?!? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!"" Alth…

Colin was bragging to his boss one day, ""You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them. Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, ""OK, Colin how about Tom Cruise?"" ""Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."" So Colin and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, ""Colin! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"" Although impressed, Colin'…

One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, ""My dear child, why are you crying?"" The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with pearls. ""Is this your thimble?"" the Lord asked. The seamstress replied, ""No."" T…

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Bubba Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, ""You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them. ""Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, ""OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?"" ""Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."" So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, ""Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"" Although impress…

Bubba and Friends Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?" "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it. " So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!" Altho…

How famous is Colin? Colin was bragging to his friend, Laura, one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.” Tired of his boasting, Laura called his bluff, “OK, Colin how about Tom Cruise?” “Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.” So Colin and Laura fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, “Colin! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!” Alt…

My friend knows everyone... Dave was bragging to his boss one day: "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?" "No drama boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, "Dave! What's happenin?!? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!" Although impresse…

Everybody knows Bubba Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?" "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, "Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!" Alth…

Dave was bragging to his boss one day "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.” Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?” “No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.” So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door and Tom Cruise shouts, “Dave! What’s happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer! Although impressed, Dave’s boss is still sceptical. After…

I went to the hairdressers and said, “Can I have a haircut like Tom Cruise?” So they gave me a cushion to sit on.

Infamous Dave Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?" "No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it." So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door, and Tom Cruise shouts, "Dave! What's happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!" Although impressed, Dave's boss is stil…

what's the most impressive thing about tom cruise performing his own stunts? he does it in heels

What's the shortest Tom Cruise joke? He walks into a bra.

Has anyone seen the trailer for the latest Tom Cruise movie? He can't go to the bathroom at all. It's called Mission Impissable.

What do you get when you mix a monkey and a midget? Tom Cruise

What do you get when you cross Tom Cruise with nails? A cruiseifixion.

Why does Tom Cruise like Scientology? It's given him a great cult following