#sven

2 engineers v/s a Blonde Two engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking at its top. A blonde walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole," said Sven, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a couple of bolts, and laid the pole down on the ground. Then she took a tape measure from her handbag, took a measurement and announced, "Twenty one feet, six inches," and walked away. One engineer s…

Diesel Fitter Sven and Ole worked together and both were laid off, so they went to the unemployment office together. Asked for his occupation, Ole said "Panty Stitcher. I sew the elastic onto ladies cotton panties." The cleark looked up Panty Sticher. Finding it classified as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay. Sven was asked his occupation. "Diesel Fitter" he replied. Since diesel fitter was a skilled job, the clerk gave Sven $600 a week. When Ole found out, he was fu…

A man backpacking in Europe... Comes across a small village with no modern technology. It's starting to get dark so he asks a villager if he can stay the night. The villager agrees. As the night goes on, the man gets bored and asks the villager if there is any way he can have a good time. *Wink wink* The villager says "well there is Sven". The man thinks to himself "I'm not gay, but what the hell" and asks how much for Sven. To which the villager replies 400 euros. The man says "wow that's a…

Sven the Farmer A Minnesota farmer named Sven had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Ajax Company. In court, the Ajax Company's hot shot attorney questioned him thus "Didn't you say to the state trooper at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?'" Sven responded: "Vell, I'lla tell you vat happened dere. I'd yust loaded my fav'rit cow, Bessie, into da..." "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accid…

Sven had been a game warden for several years, and was out driving in the countryside, watching for poachers. He hears a shotgun blast, and looks up at a flock of loon, one of them hit and spiraling down to the ground. Sven is shocked, as loon are an endangered species. He quickly drives over to where the loon fell, only to find his best friend, Ole, picking up the dead bird. “Ole!” Sven shouts, “Vat the hell are you doing??!! You can’t shoot loon, they’re endangered! I got to write you up, …

If Die Hard is a Christmas movie, then this has to be a Christmas joke. I was on a train the other day when two Swedish men sat down next to me The two introduced themselves as Sven and Olf. Olf in particular was wearing a t-shirt with the USSR flag on and boasted a cap with a hammer and sickle on, so I assumed he was an avid communist. I asked them if either of them knew where I could get alcohol on the train, and Olf piped up: "If you go to carriage 4, you can get a Guinness, you idiot. You …

Lars sees his friend Sven in the bar Lars sees his friend Sven in the bar and tells him "Sven, I played a trick on you last night. I snuck up to your window and watched you in bed with your wife! Sven smiles and answers "Well Lars, the joke is on you! I wasn't home last night!

Sven and Ole go to hell Ole and Sven die in a snowmobiling accident, drunker than skunks, And go to Hell. The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves. He says to them 'Doesn't the heat and smoke bother you?' Ole replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve're from nordern Minnesooota, da land of snow an ice, an ve're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know.' The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat even more. When he returns to the room …

Ole, Sven, and Nels came into the bar. They were high-fiving each other, shouting, and generally having a celebration of some sort. "Line 'em up," Ole shouted as the party continued. They drank and carried on for hours. Finally the bartender’s curiosity got the better of him. "Just what are you celebrating?" he asked. "51 days! We did it in 51 days!" they responded. "What did you do in 51 days?" he probed. "Put the puzzle together," they replied. "51 days, and the box said 3-5 years!"

Diesel Fitter Sven and Ole worked together and both were laid off

Sven the farmer A Minnesota farmer named Sven had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Ajax Company.

why was Elsa afraid of Sven? because Sven eight nine! hahahahahahahahaha...