#lena

Tickle me Elmo There is a factory in Northern Ireland which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production…

Tickle Me Elmo! There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am. The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire product…

Ole Died Ole died, so Lena went to the local paper to publish an obituary. The editor, after offering his condolences, asked Lena what she would like to say about Ole. Lena replied, ""Just print 'Ole died'."" The gentleman, somewhat perplexed, said, ""That's it? Just 'Ole died?' There must be something more you'd like to say about Ole. If you're concerned about the price, the first five words are free. You must say something more."" So Lena pondered for a few minutes and finally said, ""O.K. You…

The Outhouse Mouse (NSFW) Ole and Lena lived up north and still didn't have indoor plumbing. Instead they had an outhouse, in which lived the outhouse mouse. One day Lena had to use the bathroom so she bundled up, went to the outhouse, dropped her trousers and did her business. Lena is terrified of mouses, so when she saw the outhouse mouse peek its head from under the door, she let out a blood curdling scream. The scream frightened the mouse so he scurried up her thigh and crawled up in her lad…

Limerick L is for lovable Lena, Who met a ferocious hyena; Whatever occurred I never have heard; But anyhow, L is for Lena.

A joke fit for Viking Fest Ole was on his death bed. The doctor had told Lena that he wouldn't last the night and he might as well die at home on his own bed. After a while, Ole's eyes flickered open and he sniffed the air and muttered ""Lefsa. Oh, Lefsa."" He worked his way to the edge of the bed and slipped to the floor. Sniffing the air and muttering, ""Lefsa,"" he crawled to the stairs and half climbed, half fell downstairs. ""Oh, Lefsa..."" He crawled to the kitchen door. There, he saw Lena…

Some of my favorite Scandinavian UFF DA jokes Ole and Lars were business partners and good friends. One day Lars started off for work and discovered he'd forgotten his tools. Returning home, he looked around for his wife, Lena, and finally found her in the bedroom. To his surprise, she was on the bed with no clothes on. ""Vat in the vorld are you doing vidout any clothes, voman?"" Lars asked. ""Vell, I yust don't have any clothes to vear, dat's why,"" answered Lena. ""Vat you talking about,"" sa…

Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee listening to the weather report on the radio. ""There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared"" the weather report said. ""You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets."" Ole said ""Jeez okay"" and got up from his coffee. The next day they were sitting down with their morning cups of coffee. The weather forecast was ""There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today and a snow em…

Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual morning cup of coffee listening to the weather report coming over the radio. ""There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared"" the weather report said. ""You must park your cars on the odd numbered side of the streets."" Ole says ""Jeez okay"" and gets up from his coffee. The next day they're sitting down with their morning cups of coffee and the weather forecast declares ""There will be 2 to 4 inches of snow today…

Lady Crofton-Smythe was giving an upper-crust party, and had hired Lena, a girl recently come to London from County Cork, as a maid. As Lena was setting up the tea service, Lady Crofton-Smythe told her to be certain that there were sugar tongs available. Lena had never heard of sugar tongs, and asked the Lady what they were and why they were used. Lady Crofton-Smythe, always happy to Enlighten the Unenlightened, told Lena that the problem lay with the gentlemen, who would go to the loo, and to …

Tickle me Elmo Tickle me Elmo There is a factory in Northern Ireland which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putt…

Sven had been a game warden for several years, and was out driving in the countryside, watching for poachers. He hears a shotgun blast, and looks up at a flock of loon, one of them hit and spiraling down to the ground. Sven is shocked, as loon are an endangered species. He quickly drives over to where the loon fell, only to find his best friend, Ole, picking up the dead bird. “Ole!” Sven shouts, “Vat the hell are you doing??!! You can’t shoot loon, they’re endangered! I got to write you up, …

Ole finally died, so Lena went to the newspaper office to arrange for his obituary. The editor said, "OK, Lena, what do you want it to say?" "'Ole died.'" "Well, the lowest price is for one to five words, so you might as well make it five words." "OK. 'Ole died. Boat for sale.'" Thanks to u/ImA12GoHawks for posting an Ole and Lena joke today. It prompted me to share this one.

Ole and Lena gat married After the service, the got into the carriage and started away from the church. They hadn't gone very far when the horse stumbled, spilling Ole and Lena onto the road. Ole righted the carriage, got Lena seated, then went up to the horse, held up one finger, and said, "Dat's vun". They went along some more and the horse got too close to the edge, tipping the carriage over again. After getting settled yet again, Ole went up to the horse, held up two fingers and said, "Dat…

Vell Ole and Lena went to the same Lutheran Church...