#school

"FOUR MORE YEARS!!! FOUR MORE YEARS!!!..." - Honey Boo Boo's teachers her senior year of high school

look son... rome wasnt built in Ade!! rome was built in I-TA-LY. do u even kno where Ade is?! A-FRI-CA. AFRICA. how r u goimg to pass school

Edward Scissorhands was beaten mercilessly by the school bully, Edward Rockhands

-"I was the girl that hated you back in high school." -"I'm sorry, can you be more specific?"

I was homeschooled so my back to school pics were of me standing in front of the house before I went back inside.

Thanks 'the news', but I get my political info from the Facebook posts of crazy relatives and people I haven't seen since high school.

On my first day of college my dad's only advice was "don't date any of your teachers!" Yeah right dad, everyone knows teachers are poor.

[horror movie in 2169] The killer creeps up behind the college co-eds and JUST STARTS THROWING GLUTEN EVERYWHERE [entire audience faints]

When I hear the word "aftermath" - it always makes me hungry. At school, lunch period followed Math class, so we ate "aftermath"

When someone tells me they're a doctor or an engineer all I can think is: "wow your parents must've yelled at you to do your homework a lot"

"All the single ladies... All the single ladies... All the single ladies..." - list of girls who wouldn't talk to me in high school

Sailors have the reputation, but nobody cusses like a mom who just found out school is closed.

I got sent out of class today at school. The teacher yelled at me, "What would your parents say if I called them?' I replied, "Hello?"

[school] Ok class, what was Abraham Lincoln most famous for doing? Billy? "Abolishing slavery." And... "Slaying vampires." Very good.

STUDENT: what's it like being drunk? TEACHER: see those 6 desks? A drunk person would see 12. STUDENT: there are only 3 desks.

[son at dinner] "a boy at school sells fireworks for $2" [to son and wife next day at breakfast] so, we'll charge $1.75 and split it 3 ways

*At store buying school supplies* Son: I need hashtag 2 pencils

*me, at high school prom Me: So, you wanna dance? Her: Definitely! M: Can you tell me why?

Student: I want a bunny, but my dad says bunnies just die. Me: So? You're going to die, and he had you.

Eat your school, stay in drugs, and don't do vegetables.

Day one of acting school should be teaching actors how to hold an empty cup of coffee on 'Law and Order' like it's a full cup of coffee.

"If you started at 16 and work until you're 23. That would give you 10 years of experience." Back to school for you My friend!

I start every argument off with "first of all..." like I'm really going to school them, but my second point is always just name calling.

Nothing makes me more proud of my son's sense of humor, than when he asks me for help with his algebra homework.

Teachers at the pre-school ask why I'm in a good mood in the morning... I'm like, "Duh...did you not see me just leave my kids with you?"