#scarlett-johansson

Me: Sometimes I think I have more imaginary conversations than real ones. Scarlett Johansson: That's very interesting.

Cop: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: SCARLETT JOHANSSON

Surprised Scarlett Johansson didn't leg sweep Travolta, throw him over her should onto his back and put her foot on his throat.

I wonder if Scarlett Johansson ever fantasizes about fat comic book nerds, or is that just a one-way street?

If "six degrees" is true, somebody tell somebody to tell somebody to tell somebody to tell somebody to tell Scarlett Johansson I said "Hi."

Went to the store without my dentures because what are the odds Scarlett Johansson and I would be reaching for the same box of fish sticks?

A man is trying to chop down some trees by the river. Unfortunately the axe slipped out of the man's hand and fell into the river. The man was so saddened by this. He literally couldn't move. That was the only way he could support his family. He didn't know what he could do, he can't even swim. Then suddenly a beautiful women emerges out of the river, holding a bronze axe. ""Don't be afraid I am angel of this river. Is this your axe?"" He replied ""No, my axe is made of iron."" She magically tur…

Choosing between Hillary and Trump is like having to fart really bad while sitting between Scarlett Johansson and The Pope. I don't know which way to lean.

There once were three girls who were ugly. So they decided to do something about it. They went to a plastic surgeon first to see what their options were. ""It's hopeless, "" he said,"" You guys are too ugly."" ""We're girls, "" they said. ""But...there is a way. There's a magic lake that can change your appearance to whomever or whatever you want to look like. All you have to do is jump and shout the name off of the bridge. But be careful because it only works once"" So the girls went to the bri…

Two old codgers are sitting on a park bench... The first says that it's a beautiful day. The second agrees and says, ""A day like this make me feel like I want to make love to Scarlett Johansson again."" The first is blown away. ""Are you saying you have made love to Scarlett Johansson?"" The second explains, ""There was a magical day, three years ago that was much like today. And on that day, I felt like making love to her.""

What's Mike Tyson's favorite Scarlett Johansson film? Luthy.

A man was talking down a street when he saw another man with a giant peach as his head. He walked up to him and asked, ""why is your head a giant peach?"" The man replied, ""funny story actually. So just now a genie came up to me and me granted three wishes. For the first wish I asked for a million dollar. Then a man came and dropped a suitcase with a million dollar cash in it. For the second second wish, I asked for the most beautiful wife in the world, and Scarlett Johansson came and we got ma…

Scarlett Johansson and some guy were the only survivors of a shipwreck. They didn't know each other before the shipwreck

A shipwreck occurred only Scarlett Johansson and some random dude survived on an deserted island...

A shipwreck only Scarlett Johansson and some random dude survived on an deserted island...