#neil-armstrong

Wow, 5 years ago we had Steve Jobs and Neil Armstrong. Now we have no jobs and no arms.

Neil Armstrong said "One small step for man...". I would've just said "OH, MY GOD, I'M ON THE MOON!!!!!!".

Neil Armstrong: now where did I park my car? [presses key button] [tiny orange light flashes on the moon] god dammit

Apparently Neil Armstrong used to tell unfunny jokes about the Moon, and follow them up with "Ah, I guess you had to be there."

BUZZ ALDRIN: I spy, with my little eye, something beginning with E. NEIL ARMSTRONG: Earth? BUZZ: Nope *5 minutes silence* BUZZ: OK, yep.

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Whitney Houston? [Oc] The rock Neil was on made him famous, the rock she was on made her dead.

First Michael Jackson, and now Neil Armstrong.... The world is running out of moonwalkers

Neil never had a girlfriend... So Neil Armstrong.

My people believe there are spirits on the moon. Would you please take them a message from me? (x-post from r/space) On 20 July 1969, Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin landed on the surface of the moon. In the months leading up to their expedition, the Apollo 11 astronauts trained in a remote moon-like desert in the western United States. The area is home to several Native American communities, and there is a story or legend describing an encounter between the astronauts and one of the locals. On…

Neil Armstrong would go to parties, tell anecdotes about when he was on the moon, then laugh hysterically at his story, though no one else would understand what was so funny... So he'd add 'well I guess you had to be there.'

Neil Armstrong used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon. Nobody would laugh, but then immediately after Neil would follow up with, ""Ah well, I guess you had to be there.""

Was watching a comedic celebrity gameshow and the lineup consisted of Freddie Starr, Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars, Phil Jupitus, Neil Armstrong and his son. It really was a solar panel.

So a priest walks by a bunch of children standing around a dog. > Alright, I can't claim this joke. I took it from the chaplain of the New Orleans Saints doing a workshop. Check out his [talk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIG72_LO7wc), he's pretty cool. www.fathertony.com There were a couple of kids that were laughing and standing around a dog that was obviously scared. A priest walks by and says ""Now I know you all won't hurt that dog."" One of the kids says ""Oh no, no. We love the dog.…

What did Neil Armstrong say when he was offered another trip to the moon 'I'm over the moon'

A time traveler walks into a bar. He sits down and order a drink. The bartender sighs and slowly pours him a glass. The time traveler asks ""What's the matter?"" The bartender says ""I've been a bartender for 30 years today. I've seen people come and go and I've heard literally every 'person walks into a bar' joke. Every one. 'Blonde walks into a bar' 'Neil Armstrong walks into a bar' 'An orange haired man and a duck walk into a bar'... I just can't be surprised anymore"" The time traveler ponde…

What did Neil Armstrong do after walking on the moon before Buzz Aldrin did? *Apollo*gize.

What would you call Neil Armstrong had he burnt up in the atmosphere returning to earth instead of landing safely? An unfortu-naut... God that was horrible....

First Michael Jackson and now Neil Armstrong. I see God is no fan of moon-walkers.

Got more like these ? 1. Neil arms weak. Neil joins gym. Neil does chin-ups. Neil Armstrong 2. William making fruit shake. William took pears. William put them in glass. William Shakespeare 3. Jimmy goes to restaurant. Jimmy sits down. Jimmy gets food. Jimmy Choo 4. Tony makes movie. Tony works hard. Tony earns fans. Tony Star k 5. Alan feels happy. Alan runs hard. Alan falls in gutter. Alan Reekman (Rickman) 6. Usain shit scared. Usain screams. Usain close doors. Usain Bolt. Got more lik…

Neil Armstrong Neil Armstrong used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon. Nobody would laugh, but then immediately after Neil would follow up with, "Ah well, I guess you had to be there."

What do you call an astronaut that lifts weights? Neil Armstrong

There have been numerous accusations that the moon landing was fake. When Neil Armstrong was interviewed about it, it’s claimed he said the following; The government found the trip to the moon was going to be both expensive and difficult. There was significant doubt that it could even be done. So, the CIA decided that because the US needed the propaganda advantage over the Russians they enlisted Hollywood to make a moon landing movie. After weeks of work and millions of dollars sunk into the…

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked ON the moon

Neil Armstrong Neil Armstrong used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon. Nobody would laugh

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong *walked on the moon* but Michael Jackson was a *pedophile.*