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One time there was two farmers that lived out on the road to Plato, Missouri. They was always good friends, and Biil's oldest boy had been a-charmin' one of Sam's daughters. Everything was going fine till the morning they met down by the creek, and Sam was pretty god damn mad. ""Bill,"" says he, ""from now on I don't want that boy of yours to set foot on my place."" ""Why, what's he done?"" asked the boy's daddy. ""He pissed in the snow, that's what he done, right in front of my house!"" ""But s

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A young guy from Missouri moves to Florida and goes to a big ""everything-under-one-roof"" department store looking for a job. The manager says ""Do you have any sales experience?"" The kid says ""Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Missouri."" Well, the boss liked the kid so he gave him the job. ""You start tomorrow, I'll come down after we close and see how you did."" His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down, ""How many sales d

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Never thought I would hear an actual funny joke in church Heard this joke from my priest at church (I live in Kansas City). A man who lived a lifetime of trouble died and was sentenced to smash rocks in hell to suffer for his sins. One day the devil walked up to the man who was breaking the rocks with ease and asked him how he was doing it so effortlessly. The man responded, "I grew up on a farm in Missouri, I am used to physical labor like this." In an effort to amplify the mans suffering,

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A census-taker in Missouri went up to a trailer home and knocked on the door. When a woman answered, he asked her the names and ages of her children. She said: "Let's see now, there are the twins, Billy and Bobby, they're fifteen. And the twins, Seth and Beth, they're fourteen. And the twins, Benny and Jenny, they're thirteen." "Wait a minute!" said the census-taker. "Did you get twins every time?" "Heck no," answered the woman. "There were hundreds of times we didn't get nothin'." Did you hear

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