#technology

Whenever I'm bored, I call one of my parents and ask them to describe how the internet works.

Ladies, when a creepy guy asks for your # and hands u his phone, text REDCROSS to 90999 so he'll donate $10 to Disaster Relief.

What's the best iPhone app for telling a kid he's adopted?

If you're stuck in a group text, one easy way to get out is to throw your phone in the ocean and start a new life.

My flight doesn't have wifi so I'm just gonna hit the call button and tell the flight attendant every time I think of something amusing.

If you wear a Bluetooth phone piece in your ear, you can say "You're an idiot" to just about anyone you walk past.

All the good guys aren't taken; they're at the bar on Tuesday nights. Trust me. I'm a stranger on the internet.

I hope the guy who named the "walkie talkie" called his home phone "standie talkie" and his toilet "sittie shitty".

When people's driving tweets end mid sentence, did the paramedics find their phone and hit send?

I'd have an extra 18 hours of free time every day if I lost my phone.

At 17, Joan of Arc led the French to victory and I just looked for my phone while talking on it.

Give yourself something to look forward to tomorrow: Text a friend, "I think you owe me an apology," then turn off your phone and go to bed

Somewhere out there, a man named Private Number is sobbing uncontrollably because no one ever takes his phone calls.

Everyone's an atheist until they're making a phone call & praying it goes to voicemail

*shows up at your work* "Hi, it's me. From the internet."

are those elderberries? [camera pans over to reveal a bunch of berries struggling to use the internet]

Every night before bed I do this cute little thing where I stare at the Internet for 6.5 hours

My girlfriend said I never do anything to help so I hid her phone. I'll prove her wrong when I find it.

*phone rings* Wife - "Quick! Pretend I'm not in!" Me - *puts lipstick on the dog and watches Sleepless in Seattle* Wife - "....""

Dis earing letters? There's an 'app' for that.

*romantically climbs into your balcony to ask for your wifi password*

HEY, mom of 3 unruly kids staring at her phone in the bookstore: ... Do you have a charger I can use?

I just got off the phone with God. He's pretty bummed out. Poor guy has a huge crush on an atheist, but she doesn't even know he exists.

The Bible is Christianity's Terms of Service. Nobody actually reads it, but as long as u agree to everything in it, u can use the Heaven app

Just look at the one picture I show you on my phone. Don't scroll to the next one.