#st-patrick

Today we honor St. Patrick, the patron saint of puking and peeing.

Three Englishmen were sitting at a bar having a drink and chatting it up. Suddenly, one guy spots an obviously Irish man having a drink by himself a few seats away, and they start making snide comments about him. After a couple of drinks, one of the guys decides to confront the Irish man. He walks up to him, leans next to him and tells him: ""Oi, I heard your St. Patrick liked the little boys!"" The Irish guy glances at him, chugs down his drink, and responds: ""Really? I didn't know that, thank…

A Jewish joke my Jewish grandfather sent me. One day at kindergarten the teacher said she would give anyone 10 dollars if they could tell her who the most famous man who ever lived. A little Irish boy said, ""It was St. Patrick!"" The teacher replied, ""I'm sorry Sean, but no."" A young Scottish boy said, ""It was St. Andrew!"" The teacher replied, ""Sorry Hamish, but that is not correct."" Finally, a young Jewish boy named Marvin raised his hand and said, ""It was Jesus Christ."" The teacher re…

Helping The Doctor A doctor in Dublin wanted to get off work to go fishing, so he approached his assistant. ""Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients"". ""Yes, sir!"" answers Murphy. The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks: ""So,Murphy, how was your day?"" Murphy told him that he took care of three patients. ""The first one had a headache so I gave him Paracetamol."" ""Br…

It seems three Irishmen Sean Michael and Tim passed over at the same time. Upon encountering the Pearly Gates they were met by ST. Patrick himself and he addressed the boys thusly: ""Lads I'm here to welcome you to heaven where you will spend eternity. Just remember one thing when you go through these gates don't step on any of the ducks or you'll be punished for eternity. Sean went in first and was amazed to see that the entire ladscape was encompassed by ducks and try as he might sure enough h…

Three Englishmen were in a bar and spotted an Irishman. So one of the Englishmen walked over to the Irishman tapped him on the shoulder and said ""Hey I hear your St. Patrick was a drunken loser."" ""Oh really hmm didn't know that."" Puzzled the Englishman walked back to his buddies. ""I told him St. Patrick was a loser and he didn't care."" The second Englishman remarked ""You just don't know how to set him off...watch and learn."" So the second Englishman walked over to the Irishman tapped …

Three English men were in a bar and spotted an Irish man (X-post from /r/funny) One guy said he was going to piss him off. He walked over to the Irishman and tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a faggot". "Oh really, hmm, didn't know that". Puzzled, the Englishman walked back to his buddies. "I told him St. Patrick was a faggot and he didn't care!" "You just don't know how to set him off, watch and learn!" said the second Englishmen The second English-man walked over a…

Angering the Irishman Three Englishmen were in a bar and spotted an Irishman. So, one of the Englishmen walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder, and said, "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a drunken loser." "Oh really, hmm, didn't know that." Puzzled, the Englishman walked back to his buddies. "I told him St. Patrick was a loser, and he didn't care." The second Englishman remarked, "You just don't know how to set him off...watch and learn." So, the second Englishman walked o…

My grandpa told me this one! One day at kindergarten, the teacher says to the class of five-year-olds, "I'll give $2 to the child who can tell me who the most famous man who ever lived was." An Irish boy raised his hand and said, "Please, Miss, it was St. Patrick." The teacher said, "Sorry, Sean, that's not correct." Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "Please, Miss, it was St. Andrew." The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either." Finally, a Jewish boy, Adam,…

I can't find a single Ekans here in Ireland with Pokemon Go. Thanks, St Patrick

What is the difference between St. Patrick and Christopher Columbus?,"One drove all the snakes from Ireland the other drove away all of the Native Americans.

What is the difference between St. Patrick and Christopher Columbus? One drove all the snakes from Ireland, the other drove away all of the Native Americans.

Three Englishman were standing at the bar when they spotted an Irishman sitting quietly in the corner. Fortified by alcohol, one of the Englishman went over to the Irishman and said loudly: "Hey, I hear your St Patrick was a drunken loser!" "Oh really?" said the Irishman. "I didn't know that." Puzzled, the Englishman walked back to his buddies and said: "I told him St Patrick was a drunken loser, but he didn't seem to care." The second Englishman said: "You don't know how to wind him up. Watch a…