#rosenberg

Mrs. Rosenberg walks into a hotel and asks the guy behind the counter to put her up for the night. ""Name?"" he asks ""Mrs. Rosenberg"" she replies ""I'm sorry, ma'am, but we don't give out rooms to Jews."" ""Jews? Who's the Jew here? I am Catholic"" the woman yells. ""Oh really? Then please tell me who is the Son of God."" ""Jesus Christ"" the woman says. ""And who were his parents' names?"" ""Mary and Joseph"" ""And where was he born?"" ""In a barn where the animals were fed and bathed."" ""OK…

A Chinese Guy And A Jewish Guy are in a bar (Racist) After drinking for a while, the Jewish guy gets up and beats the shit out of the chinese guy. Chinese guy: What dat faw? Jewish Guy: That's For Pearl Harbor Chinese Guy: Pearl Harbor? Dat Japanese. I chinese! Jewish Guy: Chinese, japanese, same shit. The two continue drinking until the chinese guy gets up and beats the hell out of the Jewish guy. Jewish Guy: What was that for? Chinese Guy: Dat faw Titanic. Jewish Guy: Titanic, what are you tal…

The USSR is sending a Jewish spy into the Nazi Germany. He is told - 'Rosenberg, here's a bunch of antinazi propaganda leaflets. You have you distribute them among the Germans'. After a couple days Rosenberg goes missing and is assumed dead. A month later he returns all dirty but with a pile of money and says - 'I never had to sell such an unpopular product'.

Another Soviet joke Soldiers break into an apartment of a Soviet jew and say - 'Mr. Rosenberg, we have a report you have have stashed away 100 kilograms of gold!' Rosenberg turns and yells - 'Sarah, these boys are asking for you, my golden'.

A Jewish man walks into a bar... ... and sits down on the only available stool next to a Chinese man. The Jew looks over and says, ""Ugh, I hate the Chinese!"" The Chinese man says,""Why!? What did we ever do to you?"" The Jewish man says, ""You guys bombed Pearl Harbor!"" ""That was the Japanese, you idiot!"" ""Chinese, Japanese, same thing."" The Chinese man is furious and storms out of the bar. The next day, the same Chinese guy goes to the same bar and sits down at the only stool next to the…

A Jewish lady named Mrs. Rosenberg who many years ago was stranded late one night at a fashionable resort - one that did not admit Jews. The desk clerk looked down at his book and said ""Sorry no room. The hotel is full."" The Jewish lady said ""But your sign says that you have vacancies."" The desk clerk stammered and then said curtly ""You know that we do not admit Jews. Now if you will try the other side of town..."" Mrs. Rosenberg stiffened noticeable and said ""I'll have you know I convert…

Pilot to co-pilot The Air Canada plane leaves Pearson Airport under the control of a Jewish captain; his co-pilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike. Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, 'I don't like Chinese..' 'No rike Chinese?' asks the co-pilot, 'why not?' 'You people bombed Pearl Harbor , that's why!' 'No, no', the co…

Two old men on a bench An old korean man and an old jewish man are sitting on a bench. Suddenly the jewish elderly slaps the korean and says "that's for pearl harbour" The korean replies "I've got nothing to do with that, it was the japanese, and I'm korean" To which the jewish replies "well, japanese, chinese, korean, you're all the same to me." Hearing that, the korean slaps the jewish, saying "that's for the titanic" "I've got nothing to do with that, it was an iceberg" "well, iceberg, ros…

Chinese, Japanese, Dirty Knees, Look At These ... A Chinese man is standing on a street corner waiting to cross. An elderly Jewish man walks up to him, and to his face, exclaims: "Go to hell! Go to hell, for what you and you people did to the innocent people at Pearl Harbor!" The Chinese guy, baffled, replies: "The Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, I'm Chinese." The old jew doesn't want to hear it and says: "Japs, Chinks, you're all the same." The Chinese man, getting angry, crosses his arms and a…

Two pilots A plane leaves Heathrow Airport under the control of a Jewish captain. His copilot is Chinese. It's the first time they've flown together and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike. Once they reach cruising altitude, the Jewish captain activates the auto-pilot, leans back in his seat, and mutters, "I don't like Chinese." "No rike Chinese?" asks the copilot, "why not?" "You people bombed Pearl Harbor , that's why!" "No, no", the co-pilot protests, "…

Pilot and Co-Pilot The pilot was Jewish, and the co-pilot was Chinese. It was the first time they had flown together, and it was obvious by the silence that they didn't get along. After 30 minutes, the Captain finally spoke. He said, "I don't like Chinese." The co-pilot replied, "Ooooh, no like Chinese? WHY is that?" The pilot said, "You guys bombed Pearl Harbor. THAT'S why I don't like Chinese!" The co-pilot said, "Nooooo, noooo ...Chinese not bomb Pearl Harbor. That JAPANESE, not Chinese!"…

A plane leaves JFK airport under the control of a Jewish captain, Josh Weinberg. It is the first time he has flown with his Chinese co-pilot Bo Weng and an awkward silence between the two seems to indicate a mutual dislike. After this protracted silence has continued for a while, the Captain mutters, 'I don't like the Chinese.. .' 'No rike Chinese?' asks the copilot, 'why not?' 'You people bombed Pearl Harbour , that's why!' 'No, no', the co-pilot protests, 'Chinese not bomb Per Hahbah. Th…

Pamela Adlon told this joke on Somebody Feed Phil. Have never heard it before, it caught me off guard, and I loved it Old man Rosenberg is laying on his death bed in his family’s home. All of a sudden he gets a whiff of the best thing he’s ever smelled. “What is that glorious smell?? I know that smell. Oh lord it’s my daughters famous brisket.” A few minutes go by and his grandson Ezra comes into his room. “Ezra, please go get me a plate of your mothers brisket. I want nothing more in this wo…