#rob

Business plan: 1) Spend 20 years mastering karate 2) Teach karate class, so you meet people who don't know karate 3) Rob them

my son wont get past his bridge troll phase. its a phase all children have, where they live under a bridge and rob people with a gun

George Clooney and Brad Pitt fall in love and rob casinos together. #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly

[stranded on Mars journal] day 1: rob and I have enough oatmeal to last us 300 days day 2: I ate rob

"Gangnam Style / Schneider, Rob / 9/11 / Inside Job" - my new version of "We Didn't Start the Fire"

Rob somebody at gunpoint today, show the world how serious you are at nicknaming your new friend Robert.

Rob thank god you picked up! Hey remember when you said if I needed a place to crash I cou- hold on *to copilot* STOP CRYING, ROB WILL HELP

Immigration sercives designed a new Green Card test. Taking this new test was an Arab, a Chinese man, and a Mexican. They were told to meet a language requirement by using two provided words into a sentence. The agent first asks the Arab to use the words BLACK' and BLUE' in a sentence. He answers ""When the bad man rob my liquor store they take my money and beat me until my face was BLACK and BLUE"". ""Splendid"" says the agent, ""You pass"". Next, the Chinese man was asked to use the words RED'…

Desert Camping Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect desert camping and riding trip. Two days before the group is to leave Rob's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Rob's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do. Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Rob sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and supper cooking on the fire. ""Dang man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"" …

My friends are named after what they do... My friend Butch is a butcher, my friend Taylor is a tailor, and my black friend's name is Rob

I once knew a guy named Rob. I once new a guy named Rob, for a dollar he would suck on your knob. For a half dollar more, you could get the whole score And he would eat it like it was his job

Bob, Rob, and Robert live on the six hundredth floor of an apartment building. One day, the ............ Bob, Rob, and Robert live on the six hundredth floor of an apartment building. One day, the elevators are broken, so they have to take the stairs. To entertain themselves, they decide that for the first 200 floors, Bob will tell happy stories, for the middle 200 floors, Rob will tell funny stories, and for the last 200 floors, Robert will tell sad stories. On the 401st floor, Robert says, ""H…

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect desert camping and riding trip. Two days before the group is to leave Rob's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Rob's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do. Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Rob sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and supper cooking on the fire. ""Dang man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"" ""Well, I've be…

Boys trip. Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect boys-out trip. Two days before the group is to leave, Rob's wife puts her foot down and tells him he is not going. Rob's friends were very upset that he can't go, but what can they do. Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Rob sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and supper cooking on the fire. ""Damn man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting you go?"" ""Well, I've been …

And she did it on the first date . . . . THE DATE........................... Like everything in life, farts have a time and place. However, I never realized that in the wrong time and place, flatulence had enough power to alter my course in history. Well, it can if it's the third date with the man ...of your dreams. And, if it makes his eyes burn. If God destined us to be together, I was one SBD away from foiling His plans (that's ""Silent But Deadly"" for you prudes). It was about five years ag…

The boss called one of his employees into the office. ""Rob"" he said ""you've been with the company for a year. You started off in the post room one week later you were promoted to a sales position and one month after that you were promoted to district manager of the sales department. ""Just four short months later you were promoted to vice-chairman. Now it's time for me to retire and I want you to take over the company. ""What do you say to that?"" ""Thanks"" said the employee. ""Thanks?…

Two Canadian guys Mike and Rob were on the roof laying tile when a sudden gust of wind came and knocked down their ladder. ""I have an idea"" said Mike. ""We'll throw you down and then you can pick up the ladder."" ""What do you think I'm stupid? I have an idea. I'll shine my flashlight and you can climb down on the beam of light."" ""What do you think I'm stupid? You'll just turn off the flashlight when I'm halfway there.""

So this guy, Rob, is at an interview... And on his resume, he claims that he is friends with almost everyone in the world. The boss, who's interviewing him, clearly doesn't believe him. "If you know everyone, then hook me up with Obama." "Oh yeah! Sure! Obama and I went to middle school together! I'll call him up" Rob calls and Obama picks up. "Hey Rob! Yeah long time no see! I was in the middle of writing a big speech, but you can come over to the White House and we can chill." They arrive…

New bikes for "clever" engineers. Mike, an engineer, rides his new bike to his friends Rob's house who is also an engineer. Rob asks Mike where he got the new bike. Mike tells Rob about the encounter he had that very morning. He said that a beautiful bombshell blonde woman came riding up to his house while he was out front watering the lawn. He proceeds to tell Rob that she stopped in front of his house on the bike, took off all of her clothes and said take what you want. Rob looks at Mike a…

The Camping Trip Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect desert camping and riding trip. Two days before the group is to leave Rob's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Rob's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do. Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Rob sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and supper cooking on the fire. "Dang man, how long you been here and how did you talk your wife into letting …

A husband and wife are out to dinner When all of sudden a very attractive young lady comes up and kisses the husband on the cheek, winks, and walks away. Naturally, the wife is less than pleased about this "Who was that?" She asks "That's Jessica, my mistress" he replies As you can imagine, the wife is not happy to hear this, even less so about how upfront he's being about it. "You pig", she says "You don't even have the decency to try and hide it. I'll be filling for divorce as soon as I…

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect desert camping and riding trip. Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect desert camping and riding trip. Two days before the group is to leave Rob's wife puts her foot down and tells him he isn't going. Rob's friends are very upset that he can't go, but what can they do. Two days later the three get to the camping site only to find Rob sitting there with a tent set up, firewood gathered, and supper cooking on the fire. "Da…

I have three friends: Peter, Rob, “Bald Paul.” Paul, as you might have guessed, is bald. He’s very self conscious about it, so me, Peter, Rob constantly call him “Bald Paul.” Paul must have hit his breaking point because Friday night he showed up with a hairpiece. So now I have three friends: Rob, Peter, “Toupee Paul.” EDIT: I confused the term “self conscious” with the word “subconscious.” Whoops

A friend in need... Ever since Rob was a child

What was Rob Bartlett's go-to line in his WackyPaki comedian routine?,"Take my wife if you would be so kind.