#religion

"The last ''Sup?'" - cool Bible

Jesus: Unless you become like children you will not enter heaven *Gets hit by a water ballon* Jesus: That's not what I meant, Paul

You say you're an atheist, yet you tell people they can "go to hell!" Make up your mind already.

*goku flies into the sunset* not knowing how the sun and earth really work he says "WHAT THE HELL WHERE'S THAT SUNSET BEEN FLYING FOR DAYS"

It's 4AM and I roll out of bed. My eyes bloodshot. I haven't slept in weeks. What the hell holds up those blocks in Mario?

[sound of can opening] wife: you're drinking a beer this early? me: c'mon...it's super bowl sunday wife: but we're still at church

[god creatig god] GOD: make him omnipotent & onmipresent ANGEL: ok... GOD: and also provide no evidence he exists ANGEL: ru sure GOD: trust me

I got fired from the church nursery for racing the babies.

What if the Bible had a major typo and the Devil was really after our SOIL? Maybe he just wants to grow some pot plants.

"Dayyuuuum Giiiiirrrl... Did you fall from Heaven?" *pokes body with stick*

GOD: look what I created [points to clouds] ANGEL: what am I lookin at? GOD: Is it a bunny? A man face? It's up to you! ANGEL: are you high?

Sometimes I miss my grandfather, but I know he's up in heaven groping angel titties and saying some next level racist shit.

"Hey, if you're not gonna buy something, get the hell outta my store!" (Unsupported Browser)

She might be Satan, but if I'm going to hell, I want to be sleeping with the boss.

A Thursday night "Just got Paroled!" party down the street! Wooooo! HELL YEAH!! I'm gunna wear my best knife for this one y'all!

Leaving a warm bed on a cold morning is my personal hell.

What was Hitler's preferred breast size? Not C's. And off to hell I go.

Small kid : Mom what happens when you die? Mom : Your soul will go to heaven. Small kid : No, I mean when you die, do I get your stuff?

'You'll go to hell for that joke' *in Hell Me: What did you do? Hitler: Genocide, what did you do? Me: Dunno tweeted a joke

Okay kids don't ever talk to strangers or take candy from strangers or go to stranger's houses except on the day we worship the devil.

In Hell, you cannot peel off the colors on a Rubik's Cube to solve it

I'm starting to think the Hangover Fairy and the Angel of Death are the same person.

friend: have u accepted jesus christ as yr savior so u can be allowed into the kingdom of heaven? me: who all going?

[1st time buying drugs] Me: can I get a *reads smudged notes on hand* married iguana Guy: *opens coat to reveal married iguanas* Me: hell ya

my life is all about getting strong and powerful and then marching on down to hell to challenge satan for the throne