#rachel

FRIENDS reunion (2016) RACHEL: [texting from bar] sry smthg came up CHANDLER: [texting from home] same... work JOEY: [in LA] wait THIS friday?

[eulogy] "Before we get started I'd like to ask Jenny, Dawn, Rachel, the deceased's 2 sons and the entire front row to put down your phones"

Ten times I've watched that episode of Friends where Rachel has the baby, just so I'll be emotionally ready when my wife delivers tomorrow.

Jennifer Aniston is always cast in the same role because she's a victim of Rachel profiling.

Fave bit of the Breaking Bad finale is when Ross is like "DID SHE GET OFF THE METH?" and then Rachel shows up and says "I got off the meth."

Star Wars spoiler: Ross and Rachel end up together in the end.

Next on a SPOOKY Friends: Ross invites new girl to Halloween party but Rachel shows up! WITCH one will he choose? Phoebe dies of dysentery.

I'm not racist. Some of my best friends are white such as Joey, Phoebe and Rachel. And I can't forget Chandler.

if a woman tells me she just wants be friends I say ok but I get to be rachel

All of my passwords are the names of various "Friends" characters. Except for Ross. I've never used Ross. Not after what he did to Rachel.

Epic Chinese Movie Translation While on vacation and downloading a DVD copy of War of the Worlds (2005) I laugh so hard from the English subtitle of what I downloaded and it turns out that it was a Pirated copy of the War of the Worlds. Ray: It's OK... (Subtitle: Do not fine, you is just fine.) Rachel: Is Robby OK? Are you OK? (Subtitle: Robby do not fine, you do not fine?) Rachel: Is it over? (Subtitle: What that finish?) Ray: You better be there when I get back! (Subtitle: Better is you ove th…

Don't step on the pink cloud Three friends, Sarah, Emily, and Rachel were in a terrible car accident and died. They ended up at the gates of heaven. There was an angel standing there waiting to welcome them, and at the end of his welcome speech, he warned ""no matter what you do, don't ever step on the pink cloud"". Thus, the three friends went their separate ways. A year later, they decided to meet and catch up. Sarah said that she would be coming with her new husband she met in heaven. The mom…

My girlfriend was asked to step aside and frisked at the airport for resembling a Friends character. I think she was a victim of Rachel profiling.

I'm celebrating international women's day by not having my wife make me a sandwich today. I'm going to Subway and having Rachel make it instead.

My father? There was a young woman who had never known her father. One year, on Christmas day, a stranger knocked at her door. When she opened the door, there was an older gentleman standing there. He looked at her face for a moment, then reached out and handed her a beautifully bound book of poetry. ""What is this?"" she asked. ""A present,"" the man replied, ""from your father."" ""My father?"" she said, ""but I don't have a father."" ""Rachel... you do...and I'm him."" said the man, looking a…

Confused Nurse A doctor is making his usual rounds in the hospital when he sees one of his patients running hysterically down the hallway screaming, while a nurse is chasing after him with a boiling pot of water. The doctor says, ""Nurse Rachel is always getting things confused... I told her to prick the boil.""

One day a boy... One day a boy walked into his dads room. The dad was holding something. The little boy then asked ""what is that daddy? Well that is my car. Oh ok. So the boy left. After 13 years later the boy is now 18 and his name is jimmy. So jimmy and his friends were on a cruse ship and he had his dads car and he put a wedding ring in the passenger seat of the toy. He was planning to propose to his girlfriend, Rachel. So they went to the front of the ship and where doing the titanic thing …

The missing sugar bowl Mrs. Fisher comes to visit her son Jacob for dinner. He lives with a female roommate, Rachel. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Jacob's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between the two, and this had only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Jacob and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's though…

An old Jewish man is on his deathbed... An old Jewish man is on his deathbed, and his family is gathered around him. He's too weak to lift his head or even open his eyes, but he can talk to his family. "Rachel, my beloved wife of fifty-seven years. The love of my life, my soulmate, the woman God created me to be with, are you here?" She replies "yes, my wonderful husband. I'm here, just like I swore I would be all those years ago at our wedding. I'm here." The old man smiles. "David, my eld…

The Bubba Joke--long Bubba is talking to his friend in a bar and boasts to his friend that he knows everyone in the world. His friend, of course, doesn’t believe him. “If you know everyone in the world, name everyone in this bar.” Bubba proceeds to name everyone—Joey, Rachel, Sam, Johnny, Bart, until everyone is named. His friend is impressed, but then says, “Well, you may know everyone here but you can't know everyone—how about Clint Eastwood? Bubba claims he does. So they go to Clint Eastwood…

The first Jewish president On his first day in office, he calls his mother. "Mom, you really have to come out to DC and check out the white house, it is amazing. Rachel and I would love to have you over.” " Out there, with all the goyim? Its too busy for me." "How's about a weekend at camp david. Its really nice and quiet, and its got a nice Jewish name." "Alright, I got to go, but I'll discuss with your father." She hangs up with her son and the ladies at her bridge table ask, "so who w…

I was taught to always follow my dreams no matter what. So now I just need to rescue my boss’s wooden horse from the pool that’s filled with spaghetti before the Egyptian soccer team gets back from practice. “Rachel from middle school? What are you doing here?”

My girlfriend Rachel has 206 bones in her body Now 207

Two women named Rachel meet and fall in love. They decide to get married and go to the baker's to pick out a wedding cake. The baker inquires about their story and appalled

Two lesbians named Rachel walk in to a bakery... To buy a cake for their upcoming wedding. After learning that the cake will be for their own wedding