#king

Three men are shipwrecked on an island infested with cannibals. The cannibal king tells the three men that they must complete a test so that they may not be eaten. He tells them to bring back 10 pieces of the same fruit. The first man brings back apples and is told he must shove all 10 up his butt without making a noise to pass the test. He gets half of one up there before he screams and gets cooked. The second man comes back with rasberries. As he is about to get the 10th and final rasberry in,…

Death by fruit. Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits. The first one came back and said to the king, ""I brought ten apples."" The king then explained the trial to him. ""You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on yo…

There were three men who were lost in the forest. They were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass the trial. The first step of the trial was to go into the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits. The first one came back and said to the king, ""I brought ten apples."" The king then explains the trial to him-you have to shove the fruits up your ass without any expression on yo…

Cannibals and Fruit This is almost certainly a repost, but I'm fairly new and it was one of my favorite jokes growing up, so I'm going for it. Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they had to take part in an ancient trial. If just one of them could pass, they'd all be set free, but if all three failed, they'd be killed and eaten. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit.…

Three men came on a island.. So 3 man John Paul and Tom were travelling by boat and came on an island. There they got captured by a king, and the king said they had to play a game and win to be free. The game was to bring a type of fruit to the king. The 3 men went separate ways to search for their fruit. John came back first with an orange, the king ordered him to put the orange in his ass. John didn't want to do it, and the king cut his head off. Paul came with 3 apples, and was asked the same…

Lost in Jungle Three men who were lost in the jungle were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits. The first one came back and said to the king, ""I brought ten apples."" The king then explained the trial to him.""You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your…

The king hates jealousy *Forgive my English* The king tells his knights one day, of how he hates jealousy. One of his knights say, ""I know the most jealous person in your dynasty"". Onether knight say ""well, he can't surpass the other guy I know for sure"". The king becomes curious and calls for them. Once they came, he decided to give them a test and see who is the most jealous person among the two. The king says, ""I want to give you all you can wish. But only one person will make a wish, an…

The 3 men A king of a foreign land summons 3 men. He tells them ""bring me your favorite flower"" the first man brings a sunflower, and the king tell him to eat it, which he does with ease. The second man brings a rose, and the king tells him to eat it. While eating the rose,he's crying and hysterically laughing. The king asks, why are you crying. He answers"" because it's sharp"" then why are you laughing ? He aswers"" I saw the third guy hauling a giant cactus."" F.Y.I- this is a tamed version

A king and his men were raiding a castle After defeating the main force at the gates, they moved on throughout the castle taking out the remaining forces. Soon they came to a locked door in the corner of the castle. The king yelled in ""Who's in there?"". A voice replied, "" I am just my master's unarmed Chef!"" The king told him, "" If you come out of there peacefully, My men will not kill you."" The Chef replied, ""How do I know you wont go back on your word and kill me?"" The King yelled back…

Once upon a time ... ...there was a king who ordered to spread the news that if someone could come up with a lie so big that it can't be believed at all the king would gift them a big barrel of gold . On the first day came forth a shepherd and said to the king : my grandfather had a stick that he could move the stars with, the king simply said : my father had the same one, i used to play with it all the time... the Shepherd left empty handed. Then on the second day came a tailor and said : i'm t…

An old joke I heard Three men were hiking through the forest and were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they passed a simple trial. The first step of the trial was to enter the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So, all three men went separate ways to gather fruits. The first one came back and said to the king, ""I brought ten apples."" The king then explained, ""Next, you have to put the fruits up your butt without so much as a…

Poor guy Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home... Sergeant at Police Station: What is her height? Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall. Sergeant: Weight? Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat. Sergeant: Color of eyes? Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed. Sergeant: Color of hair? Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can't remember. Sergeant: What was she wearing? Husband: Could have be…

Lost in the Forest Three men lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they passed a trial. The first step of the trial was to enter the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So, all three men went separate ways to gather fruits. The first one came back and said to the king, ""I brought ten apples."" The king then explained, ""Next, you have to shove the fruits up your butt without so much as an expression on your f…

Husband went to the sheriff's department to report that his wife was missing. Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home... Sergeant: What is her height? Husband: Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall. Sergeant: Weight? Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat. Sergeant: Color of eyes? Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed. Sergeant: Color of hair? Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can't remember. Ser…

The story of a trolled king The king was bored one day. He said to the joker ""your jokes aren't funny anymore"". The joker replied ""i have to be careful because you're the king and if i accidentally insult you i will be hanged"". The king gave the joker permission to make jokes about him. The joker really made fun of him. He couldn't punish him so he decided to get back at him instead. He held a huge banquet at his palace to which every one in the land was invited. When the joker arrived the k…

Two explorers in a jungle A researcher accompanied by his assistant are exploring the jungles of Africa, when suddenly they are caught by a hostile tribe. The explorers are brought to the tribe and are imprisoned in separate huts. The king of the tribe appears to the researcher and tells him that if you want to live you have pass a certain test, which involves a free choice of fruit of the jungle. The researcher chooses a certain berry, which then is fetched from the jungle. The tribe king says:…

There once was a powerful king. There once was a powerful king who wanted to hire a different court jester for each month of the year. His financial advisor said that it would be best to only get 11 jesters, and simply have one repeat months. The king agreed and 11 court jesters were hired. Months roll by and everything is great. The October jester was a hoot. The November jester was a holler. The December and January absolutely killed the show, and February was no different. Unfortunately, the …

Dad told this joke on our ride to work A king used to have a horse. He loved this horse of his, but the only problem was that the horse wouldn't stop crying. Ever. One day the king announces that he will reward anyone who is able to stop the horse from crying. However, he would behead anyone who fails at it. People from all over the kingdom show up: Jesters, people claiming to be horse whisperers, etc. and they all fail at it and get beheaded. As the king was losing hope, one day, a skinny, poor…

Pickled Onion *My friend told me this today, so I rewrote it the way I remember. Trust me, it's worth the read!* This story takes place in the middle ages, with kings, knights, castles, etc. There was an adventurer wandering through the night during a storm. The wind was gusting, and he was being pelted with bullets of rain. He saw a castle nearby, and knocked on the giant wooden door. He was let in, and met with the king of the castle. He intrigued the king with stories of his adventures, and t…

A king sends for his favourite minister with an unusual request When the minister arrives, the king tells him ""On a daily basis, I am introduced to very smart men. I wish to see all types of people living in my kingdom. I order you to bring me the 5 biggest idiots in my kingdom"". The minister is baffled and wonders how he can find 5 idiots. Nonetheless, he searches across the kingdom, every city and every town and presents 2 people to the king. The kings says to him, ""Who are these people and…

King ordered his Minister to find 5 idiots A King of a Kingdom called his Prime Minister and asked, like there are Brilliant people in his State will there be Idiots available?. Minister said there will be. King then ordered his Minister to go around the State search and bring 5 of such Idiots and present to him in the Council. Minister was awestruck since you can identify brilliant people by conducting some form of competition, but how to identify Idiots. However he goes around the State and af…

There was once a king who would do anything for his children... He had only one son, and no other family, so this son was extremely spoiled by the king. The night before his 16th birthday, the king asked his son what he wanted for his birthday. He expected a car, since he was getting his license the next day, but the son said: ""Father, all I could want for my birthday is a pink ping-pong ball."" The king thinks he's joking at first, but the son swears he wasn't. So the next day, the king grante…

Three guys are lost in a forest...... ......and they get captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they passed a trial. The first step of the trial was to enter the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So, all three men went separate ways to gather fruits. The first one came back and said to the king, ""I brought ten apples."" The king then explained, ""Next, you have to shove the fruits up your butt without so much as an expression on yo…

Back in the day. So Chris was a leper. He was a rich man but never paid his taxes, so the king wanted to take his gold away. When the king arrived Chris tried to trick him. Chris told him to take his bow out into the rain and watch chris make a bullseye from 100m away. The king complied. When he was finished Chris was nowhere to be found. The king was baffled, but he found Chris' gold hidden in a pot in the kitchen. The king yelled""I followed your rain bow and I also found your pot of gold so s…

Cannibal Island Three men are shipwrecked on an island infested with cannibals. The cannibal king tells the three men that they must complete a test so that they may not be eaten. He tells them to bring back 10 pieces of the same fruit. The first man brings back apples and is told he must shove all 10 up his butt without making a noise to pass the test. He gets half of one up there before he screams and gets cooked. The second man comes back with rasberries. As he is about to get the 10th and fi…