#jones

Accountant Joke The CEO of a large corporation called his directors for a meeting. He asked the director of development, "Mr. Jones, what is two plus two?" Mr. Jones, looking a bit confused, replied, "Two plus two is four, Sir." The CEO said, "Ya, that\`s what I thought you would say." Then he asked the marketing director, "Mrs. Schmitt, what is two plus two?" Mrs. Schmitt, also looking confused, replied, "Jones is right, Sir. Two plus two is four." The CEO said, "Hmmm..." Then he asked…

Do you know why Indiana Jones never got married? Bad dates

What’s Your Name, Sailor? What’s Your Name, Sailor? The crusty Navy Master Chief noticed a new face and barked at him, “Get over here! What’s your name, sailor?” “John,” the new seaman replied. “Look, I don’t know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they’re teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don’t call anyone by his first name,” the chief scowled. “It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, …

What’s Your Name, Sailor? The crusty Navy Master Chief noticed a new face and barked at him, \-“Get over here! What’s your name, sailor?” \- “John,” the new seaman replied. \- “Look, I don’t know what kind of bleeding-heart pansy crap they’re teaching sailors in boot camp these days, but I don’t call anyone by his first name,” the chief scowled. “It breeds familiarity, and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my sailors by their last names only; Smith, Jones, Baker, Jackson, …

When Indiana Jones was a kid he had a collection of model trucks. He loved those trucks and he and the neighbour's kid would spend hours playing with them on a special table that was used only for Indy's trucks. They would set up elaborate dioramas on the 'truck table', adding to the displays whenever Indy came into possession of a new truck. Fast forward a few years and Indy was off fighting Nazis when there was a gas explosion at his house. The entire building was completely destroyed, inclu…

That priest from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom was actually a really inspirational guy. He touched so many hearts.

The Smiths invite the Jones' over for dinner... After dinner

Who was the best boxer of all time?,"Jim Jones I heard he took out 909 people with one punch.

Does Indiana Jones like foreplay?,"No he just whips it out.

Why can't Indiana Jones find a long lasting relationship? Bad dates.

Did you hear they're making an Indiana Jones 5? How can they do that?! They haven't released a fourth!

How rare was the disease that killed Tom Jones' wife? It's not unusual

Does Indiana Jones like foreplay? No, he just whips it out.

One day, farmer Jones was in town picking up supplies for his farm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and an anvil, then stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple of chickens and a goose. Now he had a problem: how to carry all of his purchases home. The livestock dealer said, "Why don't you put the anvil in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?" Hey, thanks!" the farmer said, and off he went. Whi…

Question: “Why is it there so many people with the surname Jones in the telephone book?” Answer: “Because they have got phones!”

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center, where he advised new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn't long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones's sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said: "If you have GI Insuranc…

The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked the new guy. "John" the new guy replied. The manager scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all. I am to be refe…

Jones: "Good Evening, old man. Thought I'd drop in and see you about the umbrella you borrowed from me last week." Brown: "I'm sorry, but I lent it to a friend of mine. Do you want it?" Jones: "Well, not for myself, but the fellow I borrowed it from says the owner wants it!"

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?" "I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. hen I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg." In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the p…