#first-lawyer

A minister and a lawyer at the pearly gates. A minister and a lawyer arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter greeted both of them and gave them their room assignments. ""Pastor, here are the keys to one of our nicest efficiency units. And for you, sir, (to the lawyer) the keys to our finest penthouse suit."" ""This is unfair!"" cried the minister. ""Listen,"" Saint Peter said, ""ministers are a dime a dozen up here, but this is the first lawyer we've seen.""

A forester and a Lawyer die... So a Forester and a Lawyer die and go to heaven. They're greeted at the gates by their guide. He motions for them to follow and leads them down a beautiful, gold washed path. At the end of the path they reach a solid gold mansion, glittering in the sun. The Guide turns to the Lawyer and says,""This is where you will spend eternity. We hope it's to your liking."" The Lawyer thanks him profusely and enters the mansion. The guide motions to the Forester and they move …

Two lawyers are having lunch. An attractive woman walks in, and one lawyer whispers to the other ""See that hot babe over there? I screwed her!"" The second lawyer looks her over very carefully, then turns back to the first lawyer and says ""Out of what?""

A priest and a lawyer had both died, after what seemed like eternity they finally stood before the pearly gates of heaven. Suddenly the gates open and a bright angel of God apears before them. ""Welcome to the kingdom of Heaven, please get in my carriage and I will show you to your new homes"" says the angel. The priest and the lawyer oblige and climb aboard. As they travel they see roads of gold and jewels. Houses large and small. Finally they approach the first house. It is large and beautiful…

In line at The Pearly Gates... are 3 men. The first approaches St. Peter who says,""Tell me, what did you do in life?"" The man explains that he was a priest. St. Peter shakes his hand and ushers him to a waiting escort. The second man steps up. The same question is asked and he explains that he was a doctor. Again he receives a simple hand shake and a single escort. The third man steps forward and explains that he was a lawyer. Suddenly Peter gets very excited. A band comes rushing out of the g…

A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident. The two were in line to see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked the lawyer his name and looked it up in his book. He then asked the Pope for his name and looked it up in his book also. ""Now if you will come with me I will show you your eternal dwellings"" said St. Peter. They walked along the clouds and came to a huge mansion with all sorts of lavish trappings. St. Peter turned to the lawyer and told him this was to be his house…

The first lawyer questioning a panel of prospective jurors began right off as an intimidating showman. When he came to his question ""Do any of you here today dislike lawyers?"" they stiffened and hesitated. Before the pause became too long the judge announced ""I do.""

A priest and a lawyer A priest and a lawyer had both died, after what seemed like eternity they finally stood before the pearly gates of heaven. Suddenly the gates open and a bright angel of God apears before them. "Welcome to the kingdom of Heaven, please get in my carriage and I will show you to your new homes" says the angel. The priest and the lawyer oblige and climb aboard. As they travel they see roads of gold and jewels. Houses large and small. Finally they approach the first house. I…

A lawyer was driving in the middle of nowhere... A telephone pole was suddenly struck by lightning, falling in front of the lawyer, causing him to swerve into a ditch and total his car. He got out of his car and looked around. In the distance, he saw a pink-striped house. He walked to the house, went up a pink-striped sidewalk, knocked on a pink-striped door, and was greeted by a pink-striped man who asked, "How can I help you?" "I wrecked my car down the road," said the lawyer. "Can I use …

Two lawyers are walking down the street A set of hot blonde twins walk past them. The first lawyer turns to the second lawyer and says, "you know, we should try to screw those girls." The second lawyer says, "Out of what?"

Pearly Gates Pontiff The Pope died and went to heaven, where he was greeted by St. Peter. “Welcome,” St. Peter said, “let me show you around.” St. Peter showed the Pope the streets of gold, choirs of angels, and so many wonderful things. At last, they came to a verdant meadow with a quaint cottage overlooking a lake. “And this is where you will be living,” St. Peter said. The Pope toured the small but well appointed cottage. “Odd,” he thought, “I truly expected a mansion in glory. But, then …

A Lawyer and the Pope died at the same time, both went to heaven. They were met at the Pearly Gate by St. Peter who conducted them to their rooms. The Pope's room was spartan with bare floor, army cot for a bed, and a single bulb for light. They came to the Lawyer's room. It was huge with wall to wall carpeting, king sized water bed, indirect lighting, color TV, stereo, Jacuzzi and fully stocked bar. The Lawyer said, "There must be a mistake. This must be the Pope's room!" St Peter said, "There'…