#church

I hear Donald Trump has been endorsed by the Roman Catholic Church He's called for a ban on contraception. He wants to make America mate again

The priests first week at work (long but worth it) A priest begins the first day of his new job and is extremely nervous about speaking to the congregation. While giving his sermon his anxiety gets the best of him and he freezes. All of those people hanging on his every word, and all he can do is stutter. He gives up and walks back to his office to sulk. Later that day the head priest comes in his office with a bottle of vodka and says "" when I get nervous I sip some vodka, everyone thinks it's…

The chairman of Perdue Chicken goes to the Vatican to meet the pope. Jim Perdue, CEO of Perdue Chicken, goes to the Vatican to meet the pope. He says ""Pope Francis, it is an honor to meet you. As you know, I am a devoted Catholic, and I'm bringing a generous donation today - 2 million dollars - and in return I simply ask you hear a proposal."" Pope Francis says, ""yes, of course."" Jim Perdue says ""I propose you change all references of bread to chicken. For example, 'Give us this day out dail…

My Friends and The Catholic Church Most people accuse me of being a wanker. Not the Roman Catholic Church. They call me a mass murderer!

A Jew was converting to Christianity. So a Jew named Moshe Greene wanted to convert to Christianity. So Moshe goes to a Roman Catholic church and tell the preist there he wanted to convert. So as he is getting baptized the priest is saying ""you are no longer Moshe Greene, you are Paul Carpenter, you are not Moshe, you are Paul"".So with that Paul became a Christian. Fastforward to Lent when the preist sees Paul coming out of a butcher shop with a bag of beef, so in order not to embarress Paul, …

A lawyer and the pope were both killed in an accident. The two were in line to see St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asked the lawyer his name and looked it up in his book. He then asked the Pope for his name and looked it up in his book also. ""Now if you will come with me I will show you your eternal dwellings"" said St. Peter. They walked along the clouds and came to a huge mansion with all sorts of lavish trappings. St. Peter turned to the lawyer and told him this was to be his house…

Why should the Roman Catholic Church allow priests to marry? They would have a more detailed understanding of what Hell is actually like.