#vlad

Trump and Putin decide theyre going to decide WW3 with a Dog Fight So they agree on coming back in a couple of years after training a dog for the occasion and rather than wasting millions of human lives and countless dollars they agree that the winner of the dog fight is the offical winner of WW3. Some time passes and they meet up again. Putin shows up with a mean looking Russian Shepard all muscle and just foaming with rage and hatred. Trump walks in with a long cage and opens it to reveal a 7f…

Last night, my Chevy was bitten by a vampire. Now it's Vlad the Impala.

What did the Englishman call the hilarious Slav? Top Vlad.

Vladimir Putin met Bashar al-Assad One day Vladimir Putin met Bashar al-Assad. The conversation turned to America. Assad: Hey Vlad, what's the difference between America and a carton of yogurt? Putin: I don't know, what? Assad: If you leave a carton of yogurt alone for 200 years, it'll grow a culture.

From Russia with love (Cold War Edition) Vlad and Ivan are hero KGB agent, and Glorious Komrade Kommander Igor is soon to celebrate day of birth, present required. Much debate on gift as date is near, tension high. Vlad says ""I know, we give Glorious Komrade Kommander book."" ""No, no is no good"" replies Ivan, ""Glorious Komrade Kommander already have book.""

Say what you will about Vlad the Impaler He was one hell of a proctologist.

Russian Car Joke [This thread](http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1sv7r1/old_russian_joke/) reminded me of this joke I'd heard years ago: We're in Soviet Russia in the early 80's and Vladimir has been hoarding his spare rubles for years and years in order to be able to purchase a car. The big day finally arrives; he's finally saved up enough. He goes to the Ministry of Motor Vehicles and after waiting in line for 5 hours, he is finally face-to-face with a bureaucrat and Vladimir proudly an…

The Russian brothers hear the propaganda about Siberia... how beautiful the weather is, how the shops are stocked with all necessities and luxuries, and prices are low. Boris worries "Maybe they're just saying that to get people to move out there and work in the salt mines. How can we tell?" Vladimir thinks a while, and comes up with an idea. "Hey! How about I move out there, and I'll write home and tell you how it really is!" Boris is pessimistic. "Suppose the censors see it? …

Two Russians, Vlad and Ivan, decided to have a race. Both long distance runners, they decided the end would be a large rock a few miles past the Russia-Finland border. Vlad was ahead for most of the race, but he faltered soon after the border and was passed by Ivan, who won. "I told you I would win!" said Ivan. "You may have won," replied Vlad, "but I beat you to the Finnish line."

What do you call Putin smoking a joint? Vlad the Inhaler

Vlad the Impaler must have really hated strict people Because most of his enemies had a stick up their ass...

What do Winnie the Pooh and Vlad the Impaler have in common? Their middle name.

Two Russians Vlad and Ivan

What do you call Dracula when he goes swimming? Aqua-Vlad

Why is everyone afraid of Vladimir Putin? Because Vlad is Putin everyone in their place. I'll let myself out.

What do you call an asthmatic vampire? Vlad The Inhaler.

What do you get when you cross Henry VIII and Vlad the Impaler? Executed.