So hard to hurt a vampire's feelings because you can't say "how do you sleep at night?" or "how do you look at yourself in the mirror?"

When someone spaces out their "ha ha ha's" in a text I read it in Count Dracula's voice

People overlook Dracula's positive attributes. In his bat form, he eats mosquitoes and other unwanted backyard insects.

I hope I don't get bitten by a vampire when I'm old and have to spend eternity as a senior citizen.