#seattle

United Airlines FA: ""Ladies and Gentlemen as you are all now painfully aware our Captain has landed in Seattle. From all of us at United Airlines we'd like to thank you for flying with us today and please be very careful as you open the overhead bins as you may be killed by falling luggage that shifted during our so called ""touch down.""

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle... A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large …

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign…

Variation of the hot air balloon joke A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to fly to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. Peopl…

It's been legalized! Seattle and Denver will be sharing a Super Bowl!

HELISOFT A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. …

Two men are sitting in a bar 'Hey, when were you born?' asks the first man. '3rd of February 1961,' replies the second. 'Interesting, that's when I was born too! Where were you born?' 'In Seattle.' 'That's weird, I was born in Seattle as well,' exclaims the first man. 'Where did you go to school?' 'I went to the Abraham Lincoln High School.' 'That's incredible, I went to Lincoln High too!' A waitress walks by. The first man grabs her arm and says: 'Hey, listen! This guy and I were born …

A horse learns the guitar So there once was a horse that wanted to learn how to play the guitar. So he goes around looking for someone to teach him, and soon he finds someone to teach him. After a white, the horse get REALLY good at playing the guitar so he tells his friend Duck about how he learned the guitar. So the Duck says to him, "Wow that's pretty damn amazing considering you don't have fingers. I was thinking of learning to play the drums, you've inspired me to learn!" So the Duck went…

How can you tell if your wife is being unfaithful? You move from Chicago to Seattle but still have the same mailman.

Two attorneys boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before take-off, a physician got on and took the aisle seat next to the two attorneys. The physician kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the attorney in the window seat said," I think I'll get up and get a coke." "No problem," said the physician, "I'll get it for you." While he was gone, one of the attorneys picked up the physician's shoe and spat in it. …

‘I was tail-gunner on a bread truck.’ Told that he was being transferred to Chicago, a Seattle office worker said he would rather quit his job than move there. ‘What’s the problem?’ asked his boss. ‘You’ll be getting a big salary increase and much improved benefits. I thought you’d jump at the chance.’ ‘It’s the crime rate,’ explained the worker. ‘I just wouldn’t feel safe taking my wife and kids to such a violent city.’ ‘That’s nonsense,’ said the boss. ‘Chicago is a fantastic city, steeped in…

I fly often for business. Yesterday, I had three bags to check. I said, "I'd like this bag to go to New Orleans, this one to Seattle, and the third to Chicago." The gate agent rolled her eyes and said, "We can't do that!" I immediately shot back, "Why? You did it last week."

Heard this on a podcast this morning. A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.

A helicopter with a pilot and a single passenger was flying around above Seattle A helicopter with a pilot and a single passenger was flying around above Seattle when a malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's navigation and communications equipment.

HELISOFT A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.

Hey Seattle, Wanna win the Superbowl?","No thanks We'll pass!

What do you call two straight days of rain in Seattle? The weekend!

How do you know you're a Seattle Seahawk? A butler serves you.

Hey Seattle, wanna win the Superbowl? "No thanks, we'll pass"

Why doesn't Seattle have a professional volleyball team? Because then the people would demand a professional football team

Did anyone else hear about that horror style remake Scotland did of "Sleepless in Seattle"? It's called "Sheepless on Cialis".

Three women were sitting around boasting about their sons. One said: "My son graduated first in his class from Stanford. He's now a doctor, making $250,000 a year in Seattle." The second woman said: "My son graduated first in his class from Harvard. He's now a lawyer, making $500,000 a year in San Francisco." The third woman said: "My son never did too well in school. He never went to any university but he now makes a $1,000,000 a year in New York working as a sports repairman." "What's a sports…

A man died and found himself waiting in the long line of judgment. As he stood there, he noticed that some souls were allowed to march straight through the pearly gates into Heaven and others were led over to Satan, who then threw them into a burning pit. However he also observed that every now and again, instead of hurling poor souls into the fire, Satan would put them to one side on a separate pile. After watching Satan do this several times, the man's curiosity got the better of him, so he st…

Quite a number of years ago, the Seattle Symphony was doing Beethoven's Symphony No. 9 under the baton of Milton Katims. Now at this point, you must understand two things: 1. There's a quite long segment in this symphony where the basses don't have a thing to do. Not a single note for page after page. 2. There used to be a tavern called Dez's 400, right across the street from the Seattle Opera House, rather favored by local musicians. It had been decided that during this performance, once the ba…