#james-bond

I'm at my most James Bond when I charge past the guards*, use my atomic laser**, and open the safe*** * 3 cats ** can opener *** catfood can

Name's Bond. James Bond. *Drinks martini* Jame's Bond. Names Bond. *drinks another martini* Bame's Jond. *Drinks 1 more* THIS IS MY SONG WOO

If a villain really wanted to kill James Bond, he should just inject HIV into one of his attractive cohorts and then wait.

The name is Bond. James Bond. James Melvin "Crazy Legs" Bond.

If you're wondering about who the oldest James Bond was, don't google 'old man bond age'

Stood in very long line today at the DMV behind James Bond renewing his license to kill... shouldn't they have a separate line for that?

James Bond is the type of top secret spy who announces who he is, then shoots everyone and sets off a bomb while doing absolutely no spying.

James Bond. Great spy? Or guy who gets captured every mission.

A black James Bond? Wouldn't work. He'd be pulled over every 15 minutes for driving an Aston Martin.

Why does James Bond keep telling people his real name? Worst. Spy. Ever.

Adele has announced that she will be singing the theme for the next James Bond film. Diet Another Day will be released in 2014.

KILLER PJ for Indians! James Bond was travelling in an Autorickshaw Driver - Rs.7.50 hue Sahab .. Bond - Yeh lo 5 rupaye .. Driver - Lekin baki ke 2.50 ?! Bond - "" DHAI ANOTHER DAY "" :D :D

Did you hear about how James Bond slept through an earthquake? He was shaken, not stirred.

What do you call a james bond film about a calculator? Casio royale

James Bond walks into a bar... James Bond walks into a bar. Michael J. Fox is the bartender. James Bond says ""I'll have a martini."" He does not need to specify.

James Bond walks into a bar... James Bond walks into a bar and sits next to a chicken. Chicken: What's your name? Bond: My name's Bond. James Bond. Chicken: Nice to meet you, I'm Ken. Chick Ken.

How does James Bond sleep? Around.

Since role reversal is so popular in Hollywood right now with female Ghostbusters, Star Wars' Rey as the new Luke, a potential black or female James Bond, Disney will remake another classic with role reversal. Snow White and the 7 Little Girls. Where Snow White is an old guy whose head of hair is ""snow white"". Rumor is that Bill Clinton will be playing the lead.

If James Bond movies were about food... These could be their titles: * On Her Majesty's Secret Recipe * Donuts are Forever * Octopie * Moonbaker * The Spy Who Loved Meat * License to Grill * GoldenPie * Diet Another Day * All The Food In The World Is Not Enough * Cashew Chicken Royale

What happens when you steal englishmens tea Elizabet II merges together with James Bond and Mr. Bean and creates an apocalypse machine.

My GF's jokes. #1 What type of car does James Bond drive? 00-Sedan

James Bond is called in to FIFA Contacted by a panicked FIFA, Bond is informed that they have recieved a demand for $1bn, with a threat to grusomely murder top footballers every day until it is paid. The note says that the best player in the world will be fed into a woodchipper at midnight. ""Oh dear"" says James. ""That'll be Messi""

I meet James Bond at my university. After some greetings, I ask him: ""Whats your GPA?"" James answers: ""4 2.4.""

I always thought 007 had split personality disorder... When he's spying: James Bond. When he's chasing tail: James Boned.

A chicken crosses the road... ..and meets 007 on the other side. ""What's your name?"" Asks the chicken. ""Bond, James Bond,"" Says 007. ""And how about you?"" ""Ken,"" Says the chicken. ""Chic Ken.""