#georges

I wonder if Martha Washington ever got splinters from George's teeth.

George went on a vacation to the Middle East... George went on a vacation to the Middle East with most of his family, including his mother-in-law. During their vacation, and while they were visiting Jerusalem, George's mother-in-law died. With the death certificate in hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the States for proper burial. The Consul, after hearing of the death of the mother-in-law, told George, ""My friend, the sending of a …

An Englishman, a Scottsman, and a Welshman are in the pub. The Englishman says ""My Son was born on St George's day, so we named him George"". The Scottsman says ""My Son was born on St Andrew's day, so we named him Andrew"". The Welshman is silent for a minute, and then says ""Aye, we did the same with our Pancake"".

An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman were in a pub, talking about their sons. My son was born on St George's Day,"" commented the English man. ""So we obviously decided to call him George"" ""That's a real coincidence,"" remarked the Scot. ""My son was born on St Andrew's Day, so obviously we decided to call him Andrew."" ""That's incredible, what a coincidence, ""said the Irishman. ""Exactly the same thing happened with my son Pancake.""

Sevebty-year-old George. ... Seventy-year-old George went for his annual check-up. He told the doctor that he felt fine, but often had to go to the bathroom during the night. Then he said: ""But you know Doc, I'm blessed. God knows my eyesight is going, so he puts on the light when I pee, and turns it off when I'm done!"" A little later in the day, Dr. Smith called George's wife and said: ""Your husband's test results were fine, but he said something strange that has been bugging me. He claims t…

George went for his annual physical. He told the doctor that he felt fine, but often had to go to the bathroom during the night. Then he said, ""But you know Doc, I'm blessed. God knows my eyesight is going, so he puts on the light when I pee, and turns it off when I'm done!"" A little later in the day, Dr. Smith called George's wife and said, ""Your husband's test results were fine, but he said something strange that has been bugging me. He claims that God turns the light on and off for him whe…

The Night Light A 90 year old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results. The doctor says, ""George, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?"" George replies, ""God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He's fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I'm done, poof! The light goes off."" ""Wow, that's incredible,"" the doctor says. A litt…

All of his life George from Cape Breton had heard stories of an amazing family tradition. It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 21st birthday. On that day, they'd walk across the lake to the boat club for their first legal drink. So when George's 21st birthday came around, he and his pal Corky took a boat out to the middle of the lake. George stepped out of the boat and nearly drowned! Corky just managed to pull him to safety. Fur…

One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, ""Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan. After dinner, George's dad took him aside, ""Son, I have to talk with you. Look at your mother, George. She and I have been married 30 years, she's a wonderful wife and mother, but, she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot."" ""Susan i…

70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, ""George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?"" George replied, ""God and me are very close. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (poof!) the light goes on when I pee, and then (p…

70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, ""George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?"" George replied, ""God and me are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (poof!) the light goes on when I pee, and then (poof!)…

A Heartwarming Story One Sunday, George's wife went out to buy grocery and left him and their 3-year old daughter Bonnie at home. Bonnie was playing with her teacup party set while George was reading the morning paper. While reading, George felt a gentle tap on her knees. When he set down the newspaper, Bonnie was smiling up at him, while offering a cup of "tea", which was just water. Bonnie, in as cute a voice as 3-year olds have, said, "Have some tea, Daddy." "Certainly, dear," and George …

George Falls in Love One Sunday morning George burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan. After dinner, George's dad took him aside, "Son, I have to talk with you. Look at your mother, George. She and I have been married 30 years, she's a wonderful wife and mother, but, she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with wome…

George Bush is with the Queen of England. George: "Your Majesty, any tips you can give me to stay in power, the way you have been for so long?" "Well" said the Queen, "The most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people." George frowned and then asked, "But how do I know the people around me are intelligent?" The Queen: "Easy, you just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle." The Queen pushed a button on her intercom. "David Cameron, would you come in here, please?" David…

Physical Seventy-eight year old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with great results. Dr. Smith said, "George everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally, emotionally and are you at peace with your self and have a good relationship with God? "George replied, "God and me are tight. We are so close that when I get up in the middle of the night, poof!...the light goes on and I go to the bathroom and then poof! the light goes off! "Wow," commented Dr…

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were talking about their families. The Englishman said: "My son was born on St George's Day, so we called him George." "What a coincidence!" said the Scotsman. "My son was born on St Andrew's Day, so we called him Andrew." "That's amazing," said the Irishman. "Wait till I get home and tell our Pancake!"