#fridge

Why do guys gain weight after marriage? Because when they're single, they come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. When they're married, they come home, see what's in the bed, and go to the fridge...

What do you get if you cross a highway with a fridge? Killed.

A joke I heard at mass A priest is baptizing a man. He dips him 3 times in water and says "Craig, from now on you will be known as Michael. From this day forth you are to shed your sinful ways and that includes no more gambling or alcohol" The man later that day goes home and heads straight for the fridge. He then grabs a can of coors light and dips it in the sink. As he does it he says "from this day on, you will be known as green tea"

My wife left a note on the fridge that said "This isn't working I'm going to my mom's" I opened up the fridge. The light was on and the beer was cold. I'm not sure what she was talking about.

My girlfriend left a note on the fridge "It's not working. I can't take it anymore. I am going to my mom's place." I opened the fridge. The light came on. The beer was cold... What the hell did she mean?

My girlfriend left a note on the fridge "This is not working I'm going to my mum's house." So, I opened the fridge's door, the light came on and the juice was cold. - What the hell did she mean?

Why are bachelors thin, and married men fat?","Bachelors come home, check to see what's in the fridge, and go to bed. ….Married men come home, check to see what's in the bed and go the fridge.

Why should you never use r/television 's fridge to store mutton? It always spoils the GoT.

What do you do when you see your tv hover around the place?,"What do you do when you see your TV hover around the place at night? You yell put it down n*gger. What do you do when you see your fridge hover around the place at night? You dont do anything thats a big ass n*gger.

How do you know when to use ""fridge"" or ""refrigerator""?","Open it, if there's a 'd' in it it's a fridge.

Ever look in the fridge and be disappointed that all there is for supper is leftover pizza and beer?,"Yeah me neither...

What's the difference between a married man and a bachelor?,"A bachelor will go to the fridge, sees nothing he wants, and go to bed A married man will go the bed, sees nothing he wants and go the fridge!

What's white, big and could kill you if it fell out of a tree? A fridge.

How can you tell there are two elephants in your fridge? You have to put the partly-eaten dismembered body of your infant daughter in the freezer instead.

Why are bachelors thin, and married men fat? Bachelors come home, check to see what's in the fridge, and go to bed. ….Married men come home, check to see what's in the bed, and go the fridge.

What's green with a brown tip? The cucumbers in Elton John's fridge.

Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? She saw the salad dressing.

How can you tell if an elephant has been in the fridge? There are footprints in the butter

What black & White and cool as f**k? A fridge with a leather jacket on.

Why did the groom ask his bride to wear white? Because he wanted his dishwasher to match the fridge and stove

What did the mayonnaise say to the man opening the fridge door? "Don't look. I'm dressing."

What are the three steps to put an elephant into the fridge..? 1.Open the fridge 2.Put the elephant in 3.Close the fridge

How do you know your fridge is going through menopause? It's all out of eggs..

Why did the groom want his bride to wear white? He wanted his new dish washer to match his fridge.

Why did the girls fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her. It's not supposed to make sense