#ernest

This man is frank and earnest with women... In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest. - Henny Youngman (for a Monday morning pick-me-up.)

Two maggots were fighting in dead ernest, poor old Ernest.

A couple of old guys sat at the bar... Ernest pops up with a comment ""George, when I was 20 years old and I had a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with both hands!"" They sit in silence a few minutes, punctuated by the occasional sip. Ernest says ""When I was 35, I could bend it with one hand."" A few minutes later, he says ""Now I can bend it with one finger!"" Another few sips and he says ""George, how much stronger do you think I'm gonna get?""

the joke is kevin has aids dave goes in a store and he sees kevin in the store. kevin is his arch nemesis and a bad soccer player for the team the great whales and then kevin says with a large grin hello dave how is your soccer team doing this year. well dave is outraged and says my team is doing great we have a secret weapon this year. kevin has the air blown straight out of him when he hears this and goes in his mind ""oh no, a secret weaponthere's nothing i can do to stop it"" later at the so…

Raising The Dead! This elderly couple is watching one of those television preachers on TV one night. The preacher faces the camera, and announces, "My friends, I'd like to share my healing powers with everyone watching this program. Place one hand on top of your TV and the other hand on the part of your body which ails you and I will heal you." The old woman has been having terrible stomach problems, so she places one hand on the television, and her other hand on her stomach. Meanwhile, her…

Did you hear about the writer that became a tailor? He had to make an Ernest living, the Hemingway.

I like to be frank and earnest with women. In Brooklyn, I'm Frank and in Chicago I'm Ernest.

I find it’s best to be frank and earnest with women. In Texas I’m Frank and in California I’m Ernest.

Did you hear about the writer that became a tailor? He had to make an Ernest living