#crimea

I predict that Obama's next move is to threaten to hold his breath until Russia leaves the Crimea.

How Many Russians Does It Take To Invade Crimea? None according to the Russians.

A man walks into a bar in Russia. ""Can I have one beer?"" - he asks the barman. ""That will be two hundred rubles,"" - says the barman. """"What? It was one hundred yesterday!"" - says the man. ""Well, you see, it is one hundred for a beer and now you have to add a hundred for Crimea,""- says the barman. The man hands him two hundred rubles. The barman gives him back a hundred and says: ""We are out of beer"".

Why are people so sore about Russia taking the Crimea? I mean cry me a river river right?

I heard the river in Crimea is really condescending.

Imagine that you were tired of living in a police state and decided to leave Russia for good a while ago, and bought a small house in Crimea.

Obama calls Putin. Vladimir Vladimirovich however switched on his answering machine. When Obama called again he got the following pre-recorded message: - Hello. You have called the direct line of the president of Russia - Vladimir Putin. I am currently away from the phone and unable to take your call. If you want to surrender, please press 1 now. If you want to threaten me with sanctions, please press 2 now. If you want to discuss the current situation in Crimea, please press 3 now. Please note …

Russian referendum. Russia initiates a referendum in Crimea about returning Crimea back to Russia. Ukraine initiates a referendum about returning Kaliningrad to Germany, Sakhalin and the Kuril Islands to Japan, Kazan - to Tatar, Karelia - to Finland, Siberia to Yakuts, and everything situated east from Ural mountains - to ingenious people.

Invisible Russian army. -Do you see Bandera supporters in Crimea? - No. -Yet, they are there. - Do you see Russian army in Crimea? -Yes. -Yet, they are not there.

Putin dies and goes to hell Putin dies and goes to hell. One day the devil allows him a day back on earth. Putin goes to a bar in Moscow. He ask the bartender "Is Crimea ours?" "yes" "Donbass?" "Thats also ours" "Kyiv?" "Ours" Putin is happy and prepares to go back to hell, he asks the barteneder "How much do I owe you?" "5 euros"

Vladimir Putin was visiting an elementary school in Russia. After Putin explained to the kids how Russia is the most glorious and best nation in the world, he asked if any of the children had any questions. Suddenly, Aleksandr put his hand up. “Yes?” Putin said, as he pointed at Aleksandr. “Why do you want to reunite the Soviet Union and why are trying to take Crimea?” Aleksandr asked. “Well, the correct reason we are invading Ukraine is…” before Putin could finish his sentence, the bell ra…

Vladimir Putin suffers a heart attack and falls into a coma... ... A few years later, he wakes up, gets back on his feet and walks out of his room, right past the sleeping guard. He walks out of the hospital onto the streets of Moscow, and finds that most people don't recognize him. Several years of vegetative coma seem to have taken its toll on his appearance. After wandering around for a bit, he stumbles into the nearest bar. He sits down at the bar and orders a full glass of vodka. He sips…

Four people were riding in a compartment on a train in Crimea.. ... an old old lady, a beautiful young woman, a Ukrainian man, and a Russian soldier. The train enters a tunnel and it's suddenly pitch dark. Nobody can see a thing. There is a sound of a kiss, a sound of a slap, and when the train exits the tunnel, the Russian soldier is nursing a painful red slap mark on his cheek. The old woman thinks "That serves him right, trying to take advantage of that young woman in the darkness. I'm glad…

Putin dies and goes to hell After a while, he is given a day off for good behavior. So he decides to visit Moscow, enters a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender: -Is Crimea ours? -Yes, it is. -And the Donbas? -Also ours. -And Kyiv? -We got that too. Satisfied, Putin finishes his drink, and asks: -Thanks, how much do I owe you? -5 euros

Putin dies and goes to hell Putin dies and goes to hell, but after a while, he is given a day off for good behavior. So he goes to Moscow, enters a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender: -Is Crimea ours? -Yes, it is. -And the Donbas? -Also ours. -And Kyiv? -We got that too. Satisfied, Putin drinks, and asks: -Thanks, how much do I owe you? -5 euros.

What did Putin say after he sent his troops to Ukraine?,"Crimea river! (I just came up with this shitty joke when I heard some guy on the news pronounce it cry-me-a, I always pronounce it as Crimea like crib. Sorry I'll let myself out now)

What did Putin say after he sent his troops to Ukraine? Crimea river! (I just came up with this shitty joke when I heard some guy on the news pronounce it cry-me-a, I always pronounce it as Crimea like crib. Sorry, I'll let myself out now)

What song did Russia send Ukraine for its birthday? Crimea a river