#connecticut

Just saw a black guy in Connecticut. Played it cool, though. Only got my picture taken with him twice.

It's a miracle! An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, ""Sir, have you been drinking?"" ""Just water,"" says the priest. The trooper says, ""Then why do I smell wine?"" The priest looks at the bottle and says, ""Good Lord! He's done it again!""

Ending a sentence with a preposition. A snobbish English teacher was sitting in an Atlanta airport coffee shop waiting for her flight back to Connecticut, when a friendly Southern Belle sat down next to her. ""Where y'all goin' to?"" asked the Southern Belle. Turning her nose in the air, the snob replied ""I don't answer people who end their sentences with prepositions."" The Southern Belle thought a moment, and tried again. ""Where y'all goin' to, BITCH?""

Georgia and Connecticut girls Two freshmen girls are moving into their dorm room together. One of them's from Georgia, one of them's from Connecticut. The girl from Connecticut's helping her mother put up curtains. Girl from Georgia turns to them and says, ""Hi. Where y'all from?"" Girl from Connecticut says, ""we're from a place where we know not to end a sentence with a preposition."" The girl from Georgia says, ""Oh, beg my pardon. Where y'all from...cunt? House of Cards s1, e4

It's actually easy to spell Connecticut if you think Apple are creating a brand new self-harming app. Connect-iCut.

In Connecticut it is illegal... To hang a man with a wooden leg. You have to use a rope just like everywhere else

Opporknockity A family in the suburbs of Connecticut had a young daughter who loved to play the piano. One day, her parents listened and thought, ""We'd better get that piano tuned."" So they called up a famous piano tuner named Opporknockity, who came over right away and their piano was good as new. The very next day, the girl's little brother sat on the bench and banged on the keys and the strings so hard that the piano went right out of tune again. So their dad got on the phone and asked the …

So I hear there is a rule about not ending sentences with a preposition. A snobbish English teacher was sitting in an Atlanta airport coffee shop waiting for her flight back to Connecticut, when a friendly Southern belle sat down next to her. Where y'all goin' to?' asked the Southern belle. Turning her nose in the air, the snob replied I don't answer people who end their sentences with prepositions'. The Southern belle thought a moment, and tried again. Where y'all goin' to, bitch?'

Here's the punchline to that riddle joke ... They leave a ring around Connecticut,

Two girls are setting up their new dorm room together. One is from Georgia and the other is from Connecticut. The one from Connecticut has her mom there helping her put up some blinds. The one from Georgia asks, ""Hey! Where y'all from?"" The other girl replies, ""We're from a place where we know not to end our sentences with prepositions."" So the girl from Georgia says, ""Oh, I'm sorry. Where y'all from...cunt?""

You think you have a bad job? I'm working at the Return Desk at Toy R' Us in Connecticut

A priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, ""Sir, have you been drinking?"" ""Just water,"" says the priest. The trooper says, ""Then why do I smell wine?"" The priest looks at the bottle and says, ""Good Lord! He's done it again!""

A Lutheran minister is driving down to New York to see the radio show and he's stopped in Connecticut for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on his breath and then he sees an empty wine bottle on the floor and he says ""Sir have you been drinking?"" And the minister says ""Just water."" The sheriff says ""Then why do I smell wine?"" And the minister looks down at the bottle and says ""Good Lord He's done it again!""

When a visitor to a small town in Georgia came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy he quickly grabbed the animal and throttled it with his two hands. A reporter saw the incident congratulated the man and told him the headline the following day would read ""Valiant Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal."" The hero told the journalist that he wasn't from that town. ""Well then"" the reporter said ""the headline will probably say 'Georgia Man Saves Child by Killing Dog'."" ""Actually"" …

College roommates Two girls, one from Georgia, one from Connecticut, are going to be roommates in college in Virginia. On move-in day, they are unpacking and settling in, when the southern belle asks "So where y'all from?" The northern girl replies with a huff: "Well! I'm from Connecticut, where they teach us not to end a sentence with a preposition!" The Georgian girl responds: "Oh, I apologize! Where y'all from, cunt?"

An Irish priest... An Irish priest was driving to New York and got stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smelled alcohol on the priest's breath and then saw an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He asked, "Sir, have you been drinking?" "Just water," said the priest. The trooper asked, "Then why do I smell wine?" The priest looked at the bottle and exclaimed, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

Two girls are moving into a college dorm... Two girls are moving into a college dorm. One is from Georgia the others from Connecticut. The one from Connecticut is hanging curtains with her mother in the dorm. The girl from Georgia walks in and says them "What beautiful curtains, where are y'all from?". The girl from Connecticut replies, "A place where we know better then to end a sentence with a preposition". The girl from Georgia says, "I beg your pardon, where are y'all from, cunt?

I bought a piano from Connecticut last week but I had to return it. The middle C was silent.

Two girls are moving into a college dorm... Two girls are moving into a college dorm. One is from Georgia the others from Connecticut. The one from Connecticut is hanging curtains with her mother in the dorm.

Why doesn't Connecticut have a name for it people?,"What I mean is that people from NY are New Yorkers, people from California are Californian and coincidentally people from Colorado and Washington are Potheads.

Anyone else experiencing bad weather? Just got off the phone with a friend who lives in Northern tip of Connecticut. He said that since early this morning the snow has been nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the North wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.

Why doesn't Connecticut have a name for it people? What I mean is that people from NY are New Yorkers, people from California are Californian, and coincidentally people from Colorado and Washington are Potheads.

When a man in Macon, Georgia came upon a wild dog attacking a young boy, he quickly grabbed the animal and throttled it with his two hands. A reporter saw the incident, congratulated the man and told him the headline the following day would read, "Local Man Saves Child by Killing Vicious Animal." The hero, however, told the journalist that he wasn't from Macon. "Well, then," the reporter said, "the headline will probably say, "Georgia Man Saves Child by Killing Dog." "Actually," the man said, "I…