#supermans

Superman's only weakness is the extremely rare Kryptonite that all his enemies have.

Weird how Superman's an alien but looks exactly like a white dude & then he landed in Kansas & not say, mainland China

Superman's first day at the daily planet. Boss: Since you're new, you might need supervision. Clark: I have that, superhearing too.

*Wakes up in Superman's body* Me: Holy crap! I'm finally a hero! *Uses heat vision to re-heat last night's pizza & puts on Netflix*

"Superman's Dad" is the last stop for an actor.

Everyone knows Superman's father was Jor-El, but no one ever mentions his germophobic uncle, Pur-El.

"How do we hide Superman's identity?" They asked. A man kicked in the door & yelled "With glasses!" & everyone started clapping for him.

Why don't Superman's farts smell? Because krypton gas is odourless.

My girlfriend is into scat.... [A few quickfire, awful puns] My girlfriend's into some weird stuff, into scat, not the avant garde ska derived musical genre mind you, I mean...ask yer mother. She's also into australian accents, and has a particular affinity for fictional planets, in particular, superman's home planet is a particular turn on. I mean when she showers she has to use a Lex Loofah. Anyway, I'm racking my brains with how to satisfy her; the accent; the poo and fictional planets eventu…

Why is Superman's costume so tight? Because it only comes in size 'S'

What was Superman's first job? A Clark.

If kryptonite is Superman's only weakness, what is Supperman's only weakness? Leftovernite

What did the Irishman say about Batman and Superman's fathers? They were both Martha Fockers

To defeat Superman, Batman will sneak in Superman's house when he's asleep and dig for any weaknesses. You could say, he's going to creep tonight.

Superman's first love got into writing really sappy love poetry. This is why he left her and kicked her out of his house. He said to her, ""Lana Lang Leav! ""

What is Superman's comedy sketch show called? Essen-El

Interesting Questions Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase? If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet? Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the empty gun is thrown at him? When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting? Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?…

What money do they use on Superman's homeworld? Kryptocurrency

What was the money called on Superman’s home planet? Kryptoncurrency

What is Superman's greatest weakness? A bucking horse.

What is Superman's favorite thing to eat for breakfast? A Bag-El

What kind of money do they use on superman's home planet? Kryptocurrency

What's the difference between Superman and Roman Reigns? Superman's powers are all natural .

What's Superman's greatest weakness? Horses

Who is Superman's brother? Supperman. Or his kid Soup-erman. One just gets to dinner on time and the other is really good and making soup. E: I thought of it in it in a dream so thats why its not so good