#sandy

I heard the Sandy Hook kids wanted books But instead they got magazines.

Hurricane Sandy I asked my bartender for a Hurricane Sandy. She looked confused and asked, ""What is that?"" I replied, ""A watered down Manhattan.""

I wish these fundamentalists would stop blaming natural disasters on the gays. Everybody knows Sandy happened because of the confluent evils of Wall Street and Jersey Shore.

HURRICANE SANDY UPDATE Mitt Romney has advised everyone in the path of Hurricane Sandy to make their way to their 2nd or 3rd homes immediately.

There's a new drink called the Sandy It's a watered down Manhattan.

A new drink Some bars are serving this new drink called the ""Hurricane Sandy"". It's notjing special, really. It's just a watered down Manhattan.

Why don't they give hurricanes epic names like cyclone of doom or the fate fairy instead of frikken Sandy....

Why name hurricanes lame names, like Sandy? Name that shit Hurricane Death Megatron 300 and I guarantee niggas be evacuating like they need to.

What kind of a pitch did Sandy Koufax of the old Burger-lyn Dodgers have? A fastball - a sizzler.

Sandy, an older women in her fifties, has a near death experience... ...later, on the operating table. She sees God who tells her not to worry she has at least another thirty years to live. Sandy decides she’s anyway in the hospital and she had another thirty years to live, she should make the most of it. She has plastic surgery on her face, Botox and breast augmentation. A few week later she’s crossing the street and gets hit by a car and is killed. She comes up to heaven and sees God. “I…

Visiting married friends Hamish MacTavish is visiting his married friends Sandy and Glenda MacDougal. ”Sandy, I can’t help it,” says Hamish, ”but Glenda really turns me on. If I could pinch her bare backside just once, I would give you a thousand dollars.” ”For that kind of money,” says Sandy, ”I don’t think that Glenda would mind. Would you, Glenda? Go ahead and pinch her.” Glenda leans over a chair and exposes her behind. Hamish looks at it... and just keeps looking. Finally, after five m…

A woman wakes her husband up at 2 AM, saying "Quick, who's scored the highest number of goals in football, ever?" "Klose", replied the groggy husband. "And how many episodes of Breaking Bad are there in total?" "Huh? Wait, let me...55, no, 62, there's 62 total episodes" he replied. "Who was that girl in that 'Saved by the Bell' show, Kapowski?" "Tiffani Thiessen, played Kelly Kapowski" "And also, when'd that new girl, Sandy, move downstairs again?" "Two months next Wednesday. What's goi…

Best pick up line. Hey is your name Sandy Hook? Cuz I wanna shoot a bunch of kids inside you.

A physicist, a chemist, and an economist are stranded on a desert island The only thing on the island besides the three academics is a single can of beans. They are discussing how to get it open. The physicist suggests that they build a fire and heat up the can until the pressure causes the can to explode. The chemist says “No, no, the beans will fly everywhere, land on the ground, and get all sandy. Our only food will be ruined.” Instead, the chemist suggests, they should use the corrosi…

What do you call a waffle on a California beach? A Sandy Eggo.

Little Sandy was not the best student in Sunday school Usually she slept through the class.

Why do hurricanes get lousy names like Sandy?

Jim decided to propose to Sandy but prior to her acceptance...

So I told my dad a joke about Sandy Hook the other day. He didn't think it was funny I guess it's aimed at a younger audience.

Best pick up line. Hey is your name Sandy Hook?

What did Carmen's mom say when Carmen dropped her waffle in the sandbox? ""Where in the world is Carmen's sandy Eggo?""

Visiting married friends Hamish MacTavish is visiting his married friends Sandy and Glenda MacDougal.

What was the last thing that went through the Sandy Hook child's mind?,"A bullet. I apologize if that joke was aimed for a younger audience. I love Sandy Hook jokes they never get old. Just like those children.

Have you heard the new drink called Sandy? ...It's a watered down Manhattan!

Did you hear what sandy did to New Jersey? A few billion dollars worth of improvements